"Memories are memories. Memories have no power."

- Kim Samsoon 

Those wrong decisions you make in life...

I just realised that when I came to the UK, I deleted my old blog. Which was full of memories. Full of everything I did in the past 8 or so years. Why am I so stupid? I cant believe that I actually deleted that. I thought it was a cool decision. To delete everything from the past and 'start afresh.' To those who are planning to do the same thing, don't. You will regret this decision. Because you would not be able to remembers all those things that had happened in the past but were not stored in your mind anymore. Because you wont be able to recall the goods and bads that shaped your life.

This could be the sign to tell me that I actually need to move on; the past is in the past. (Maybe singing Let It Go would make me feel better. I'm joking, it wouldn't)

Obviously I need to move on BUT I DONT WANNA ERASE EVERYTHING ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING because there are times I feel like looking back at those bittersweet memories and remind me that life works that way.

Seriously though WHAT ON EARTH WAS I THINKING?!

만약에...

I CANT WAIT FOR AUGUST/SEPTEMBER TO COME!

Because my bestfriend and schoolmate(s) are coming to the UK! Finally, someone I can actually talk to and is a good listener. Someone I can confide in. Without interrupting me and actually tried to look for a solution to my problems and most importantly someone I can count on. HAN SHUET LING WE NEED TO HANGOUT ASAP BECAUSE I MISS YOUR VOICE YOUR JOKES YOUR LAUGHTER AND EVERYTHING. Of course I miss every single one of you in Malaysia too! I WILL BE BACK! Please wait for me in a year's time. Please.

I hope things would go smoothly for us because I dont want anything to drift our best-friendship apart but I will make sure nothing ever does! I really miss you so much T_____T and I have SO MUCH to tell you! I. Seriously. Cant. Wait.

//

原来，
我在你的世界，
比尘埃更渺小。

Why did I even think fairytales exist in this freaking world?
That's just pure stupidity.

So, at the end... he has found someone.

I'm so sorry for interrupting your life and whatever you were doing.

Wake up call.

So... today I made a significant decision in my life, or what I thought was significant.

I found out that there is a need to know that something fade, and six years are a big deal. It was such a big gap that I could not fill in even though I tried. I really did try. But I realised that between these six years, people grow up, be more mature and may even forget how we used to be like. Things change, and people are not the same anymore. Priorities changed, dreams changed.

On one hand, I regret my stupidity and my unnecessary actions, the so-called bravery.

But. On another hand, I'm glad that I had the bravery to sort things out within myself. Things that have been left hanging... I think I've got the answer to the question that has been in my mind for years.

I guess it's time to move on?

I'm slowly being mentally prepared for this.

Holiday OFFICIALLY STARTS.

GUYS. CAN U FEEL HOW HAPPY I AM? I HAVE FINISHED MY EXAMS. Just started last Monday and I was on the verge of giving up Yesterday because I had enough of books and papers and facts and figures. Words, basically. Lots and lots of it.

I can't contain my happiness of being able to NOT memorise anything I had my eyes on in my lesson because that is just stress on my brain. Seriously.

Last week, (that seems so far away but it was only) when I wrote the last COLD WAR words, I nearly cried. Of happiness. Today, just now, I was writing the last word (I forgot what haha) and it was a relief, but sad at the same time. Everything officially ended. High school. Film Studies, Psychology, Photography, History, Geography. No more stress until 5th October (Let's just hope I get into Warwick like I'm praying). I will miss Geography lessons though. It's like, I didnt do much in Geo lesson but I enjoy it. People are nice. At least there are people in the lesson. <s>Unlike History.</s> Haha. Sorry, cant get over it. But I will, dont worry. BECAUSE IT'S HOLIDAY!!!

It still feels so surreal. A bit lost... What am I gonna do without studying? But then I will get used to it because it's like a loooooooooooong weekend.

I was wondering what I should start doing, and I thought I'll update in here.

I have so many plans!! Like I have listed in my previous post, I need to make sure I do those. And I had a few things in mind before this but I forgot about it. Seriously though, I need to start noting things down because I keep forgetting things.

I still go back to school btw. That's why it feels like I'm still in school at the same time. Just without lessons. Haha. Oh yeah, I hope I can lose some fats this way. Catch the bus to town, walk to school. Walk to town, catch the bus from there to home. The distance is about 20 mins. And eat less. Let's hope these work out. Oh and pilate too..

I need to clean up my room!
Oh yeah I wanna cut my hair short. Shoulder length. Because long hair is a bit annoying now. Too much shampoo, too much conditioner, too much time needed to dry it. And it feels so heavy. And flat. Basically those.

At the moment (this week), I have Warwick Open Day to go to tomorrow, and then Superwoman fan meeting with my friends, and dentist and doctor appointment. Oh yeah and driving lesson. Yup. Productive, isn't it? I'm soooo tired right now that I just wanna stay home and relax ALL DAY. With no school, no outings, no helping out in the shops, nothing. 'Cause these two weeks or so, I have been revising (or at least waking up to the thought of "omg I need to revise today. How many hours can I chill but also being able to finish my revision?" and "should I revise in the evening or I wont be able to because the shop might get busy?").

So yeah. I cant wait to meet new NICE people and actually enjoy whatever I choose to do. I hope the Korean Society would not discriminate me because I am so joining that.

That's all for now, I guess?

I guess I'll start my drama-marathon and variety-show-marathon now!!!

나 진짜 이상한 가족이 있어.

I had SO MUCH to talk about but I was looking up on Google to make sure that my title was written correctly (couldnt find it so I'll let that be). So I was googling that until I saw some Kpop videos (HAHAHA) and now... I dont feel like writing so bye.

Ps. Basically what I was trying to say is ppl in my family are really weird and yes I guess I'm gonna turn abnormal too bye.

이상한 가죽...

가 고 싶어.