To-do list.

HELLO GUYS. I'M BACK :D

I just wanna write my to-do list down before I forget anything. Haha. As you may have guessed (maybe not), SUMMER IS FAST APPROACHING AND I CANNOT WAIT. CANNOT. AT ALL.

Cant believe school is "over"!! Well, I have to go back for the lessons because I have exams but THREE MORE WEEKS AND I'M A FREE ELF. Just keep holding on, See Kee! What's annoying me that I foresee myself being criticised by my History teacher again on this coming Monday's lesson. I really wanna skip the lesson but I would be in trouble since my exam is on the following Monday. I dont mind criticisms, but I just hate being put down, especially when my exam is in a week's time. WHY WOULD YOU LOWER MY SELF CONFIDENCE AND MAKE ME FEEL LIKE SHIT BECAUSE IDK SOMETHING? I'm gonna hold this grudge till forever. So yeah. I hate him. AND. THE BEST THING THAT IS GONNA HAPPEN IS THAT. I. DONT. HAVE. TO. GO. TO. HISTORY. LESSONS. ANYMORE. Can you feel how happy I am already?!! Cant wait. OMG YES my last moments with History is on 8th June. As much as I should be scared that my exam is so near, I AM SO GLAD ABOUT IT.

Anyways. Cant contain my happiness. Sorry. Hehe. My to-do list:

1. Dye my hair :D To red or dark purple or going back to the boring dark dark dark chocolate because I cant be bothered to maintain it, idk. It's just really ugly right now and I cant stand it any longer.
2. Cut my fringe! I wanna try it during the holiday (after prom) in case I mess up. Haha. Yes. I'm cutting it myself so let's hope I wont mess it up! Worst case scenario: pin it up all the time.
3. Join a gym and yoga class. Lose weight, basically. I'm seriously serious about it right now. After moving house (YES I'll update about it next time) I'm gonna stop eating supper and ramyun (NO T__T) and all the fattening stuff. Wish me luck! Haha. This is really important because 1) I'm going to Uni so cant look any fatter, 2) It's summer (duh), 3) I'm going back to Malaysia and maybe to Korea (high probability) as well!!! CANT WAIT.
4. I wanna volunteer at something but I'm not sure yet. Most likely not to be able to because of time (look at my to-do list... haha).
5. Go to my cousins house and stay for a couple of weeks xD
6. Prom and Colour Run!
7. Make sushi at my friend's house.
8. GO OUT. Just go out freely. With no "Omg I need to go home to help out in the shop" or "Shit I have homework for tmr" or "I need to revise" or "I can only go out after school at 4pm." EVERYDAY WILL BE SATURDAY.
9. Continue painting!! (See, I nearly forgot about this).
10. Read the books I bought but never had a chance to read (but I dont think I will 'cs I have so many (omg yes I also nearly forgot about this) dramas and variety shows to watch :'DDD
11. DRAMA AND VARIETY SHOW MARATHON. I'm watching Infinite Challenge right now so RUNNING MAN... 기다려!!!
12. Idk why I'm writing this here but I need a hulahoop and dumbells.
13. WATCH INSIDE OUT. I hope I can understand without the subtitles in UK cinemas. Wish me luck, guys.
14. BBQ. BBQ. BBQ. *cries*
15. Learn a new dance! (I learned one hahaha but I didnt do it seriously so maybe I can fix it during the summer :D)
16. to be finished.

I can only think of those right now and I need to revise (for stupid History) so okay bye!

It was my birthday! :)

Yesterday.

It was my birthday. Remember how I said I didn't put it up on Facebook? Yup, not many remembered.

But then! The important ones did :D And I think that's enough. Forget the meaningless ones, I got really heartwarming messages from my closest friends ever! Of course I never expect them to forget. But the messages + songs (yup) were really funny and sweet at the same time. Anddd! My brother got me this medium sized teddy! For the first time ever, the teddy's head is bigger than mine! How cute. He's so annoying but I think he grew up and pretend to be changed to have a "kind" image. Haha. I spoke to my besties from Malaysia via Whatsapp, and I also webcam-ed with my besties (I have loads haha)! They made my life so much better. Seriously. WHICH IS WHY I CANT WAIT TO GO BACK NEXT YEAR!!!

That aside, I felt pretty lonely though. Sigh. I stayed home all day. Well, I did go out for an hour to get something with my mom but that was it. It was actually my plan to stay home all day 'cause I thought I would enjoy it. But I didn't. I think partly it's because of the fact that this is the first time ever I did not celebrate it with anyone. In Malaysia, everyone was always at home so I was never by myself. This time, my mom had to work in the shop from afternoon till night (that sucks, I know) and there was no school. I could have gone to school for revision, but nope. No revision on my birthday (just an excuse to not feel guilty for not revising on a Saturday tbh haha). I am grateful though. At least nothing went wrong. Plus, I watched Infinite Challenge and Running Man all day :B Talking about this, I watched the Chinese version of RM and it really pissed me off. My mom was like, shall we watch this? and I went "why not since I can watch Jongkook" BUT NO. There was no point. At all. The movie, I mean. Yes, they made a movie out of this and everyone was acting (aside from JK cs he didnt even know what they were on about hahaha only in his world examining the hints). The actors/actresses were crying and stuff and my brother and I were there like "what?" Very, very annoying. Apart from JK's scenes, I pretty much wasted 1h 15m of my life on that.

Oh, and I forgot to mention in my previous post (where I wanted update you about my life haha). I got hyperthyroidism. And I'm really, really sad. Apparently it is a life-threatening disease. My worry is not about that, because it was diagnosed anyways and if it's treated now then it would be okay. But.. I'm gonna gain weight eating the medicine T___T That is like one of the worst things ever. I really wanna start exercising for a start, and I cant because it is gonna strain my heart. Second, I AM ALREADY... fat. How far am I supposed to go -.- Either way, no worries, I'm not gonna avoid having the medicine because of this, of course. But yeah. "My life sucks." That pretty much sums up everything.

And to make things worse, exams in three weeks and I still haven't started hard-core revision till the extent that I am freaking out. I never felt this bad. But I just have no motivation. At all. Especially for History because I know that even though I worked hard for it, all I get from that will be criticisms. I really wanna skip lessons too but it will be "my fault for not turning up to lessons if I don't get my target grade." Freaking hell.

As much as I hate it, I still have to do my History essay. Now. So.. bye! Wish me luck! Not for exams. For tomorrow because I have a History lesson tomorrow with the teacher who has worse moodswings than us girls (yes, he's a guy) when we're on our period. Seriously, no one can beat that.

너에게 나 하고 싶었던 말

고마워 미안해.

Hello guys! Yes, I'm back :) I re-created the background of my blog, if you haven't noticed. Just wanted a change, that's all.

So.

So many things have been going through my life. I'm finishing my A-Levels. Leavers' Day is on next Friday. It's a day where we all 'gather' everything in Sixth Form and we officially leave school. Officially. Well, except for the fact that we still have to go to school for revision classes/lessons for our exams. My last one is on the 19th June. I have been ranting on how much I hate school and how depressing it is to be there. But when I have my last Photography lesson, when I was pretty reluctant to stick the last piece of work into my book, I realised that everything is ending. Everything. And I actually feel sad. No more rushing to school, no more being in forms, no more lunch times with my close friends, no more nice food from the canteen (hahaha (I'm serious though) ), no more... idk. It doesn't seem like I had good memories because this year is really, really tiring. But. I think I will miss school. A lot. It's so hard to put this in words because 1) I really hate school because of History. Yes, specifically History. I detest it. I'll come back to that later. 2) Except for History I think I enjoy school. 3) I think it's because it's time to step out of my comfort zone and see the world.

I think 3) is the most complicated thing ever because, on one hand, I CANT WAIT TO GO TO UNI. But on the other, what if I don't like it? What if I (still) hate people? I'd be depressed my whole life. But then again, I THINK I'LL ENJOY IT. Hahaha.

It's my last day being 19 by the way. Yup, I guess this made me wanna write something on the blog because.. idk, I feel like it :) Can't believe I'm stepping into my third decade already. Time flies so quickly that I don't even know what I did yesterday. I went to New York last April and it felt like it was last month. I went back to Malaysia last July and, yup, it felt like it was last month too. It's things like these that make me sad. You grow older, and people around you grow even older. I don't mind about my age. But I realised that my parents are ageing so quickly too and it makes me so sad. My cousins are like a few years older than me and it's already their turns to get married! No more playful times. I miss the old days so badly. I miss playing Power Rangers with my cousins. And pretending that we had our naps by messing up our hair. Hahaha we were so cute back then. They are like my real siblings. My older brothers and sister. I wish I had an older brother. It's wishful thinking but seeing my friends' brothers take care of them.. I wish I have one too.

30 more minutes.

Talking about History. let me tell you why I hate it so much. 1) I don't get it. 2) One of my teacher is annoying. It's either he hates me or he is just a prick. Basically, I don't understand the topics and when he quizzed me, he had a go at me for not knowing stuff and he "shouldn't be telling (me) what he tells his Year 11 kids." That is the biggest insult ever. Then he went to my History teacher, making him ask me "Have you bee revising?" Okay. I don't mind it if I actually didn't work hard for it and stuff, but I DID. I tried. But nope, I'm stupid so I should be told off. He was like "My Year 11s have not been doing well in their assessments. I'm gonna have tell them off later." And I was there like. What? You scold kids for not doing well. God knows how much the kids will love you AND the subject. Plus, it's History.

Okay. Rant over.

Back to the proper things. I logged in and I saw some updates on my bestfriends' blogs. Some are happy and some not-so-happy. I just wanna tell them that.. I'm here! Not gonna be much help but I am a good listener... I guess. Hehe :)

Friendships are so weird. There are some people who have known you for ages but you end up finding that they are not your true friends but there are also some who have only known you for a few years but you're like BFFLs. I have both! -youknowwhoyouare- -winkwink- ;) I just wanna say thank you though. Thank you for putting up with me and not giving up on me when I get (really) annoying sometimes. I dont really. Hahaha. No, seriously. And sorry for anything wrong I have done! You know I dont mean it, right? It's so weird because it's like I'm talking to an imaginary friend hahaha but whoever is reading it.. you get what I mean.

15 more minutes.

I aim to finish this before 12am. Because I dont wanna drag it over into the next day. I'm OCD like that :B Well, before this I thought of so many things to talk about, but when I open Blogger, I ended up customising my blog layout hahaha one hour gone. I was watching Running Man before I thought of writing a post. So, this year, there's no birthday celebration, no birthday cake, no anything. I just wanna lay in my bed and have a Running-Man-marathon or Infinite-Challenge-marathon.. or a bit of both. Haha. But then I think my mom wants me to go to the Nike factory store with her to by my brother's stuff. So I guess.. there goes my plan. Plus, it's a Saturday so I'll have to help out in the shop anyways. I cant wait to have a proper birthday celebration. Proper as in having some me-time, not with a bunch of people whom I dont even talk to. Well, things don't go your way the whole time so might as well accept it.

Strangely, I feel excited. Haha. I do feel excited about my birthday, but always ended up... being disappointed? Not till that extent but, idk, maybe I expect more. But expect=disappointment. I understand that equation though. Hehe. It's time to find out who the real ones are though, 'cause my birthday is not displayed on my Facebook profile so no one would be notified. I'm not saying that they aren't real because they forgot/didn't know about it, but still, I guess that makes a bit of difference. Just saying :)

I guess this post nicely, although not perfectly, wrapped up the things I wanna say/that happened in the past year (as in, from last May or so).

Lastly, I really, really wanna say..
三姨，我爱你。 你还好吗？我很想你。

Goodbye, guys!

Edits: I FORGOT ABOUT MY EXAMS. WELL, I DIDNT ACTUALLY BUT WISH ME LUCK CS I'M GONNA NEED IT. THANKS IN ADVANCE. BYE!

And. Happy Birthday to me! :D

:D