Fresh.

I feel so fresh. *breathes in heavily* haha. no, not that kind of fresh, but innerly. it's like i feel so.. renewed. no that's not the word. erm.. let me tell you the exact feeling. you know, this morning when i stepped my leg back onto the school's groud, i dont feel so burdened. burdened. hahaha. what a word. you know how i feel about my stupid school right -.- well, i somehow changed 8D as in, i dont feel so heavyhearted about going to school and meeting the freaky people in my school :) it's so weird, i know -.- no lah. it's just that.. this morning, we had this stupid (the school always has stupid things going on, which are undeniably stupid (forever) of course) which involved us six formers to lead the younger students WITHOUT telling us what we're gonna do. it's like we're gonna just bump into the sports hall and stand there and wait for something to happen -.- so yeah. my sister and some other people were sent back to the independent study room to, of course, do independent study work. (they expect us to ACTUALLY STUDY in front of the computer which doesnt allow access to whatever websites we wanted to go, but of course, we fiddle with our phones and pretend to study and THEY talk SO NOISILY with their friends they're practically shouting at each other until teacher comes to yell at US for making noise) so never mind that again. gosh, im drifting to far away. *wipes sweat*

erm the thing is... after i was sent back to the inde. study room (came out that we were NOT needed for the activity thing 8D) and i sat in another room with the teacher guiding us. basically what she did was sitting there doing her home work and YELL when someone made noise. it's funny somehow. erm and one of this VERY MAFAN schoolmate of mine came over and we (barely) chatted for a while. then, coincidentally, my Nepal friend was there too (after the previous friend left) and we talked about Maths and English with another Nepal (annoying) friend. it turned out that, hmm, maybe we can be friends as well? friends as in, someone you can discuss with about the worst teacher in school 8D what an idea. haha.

of course, aherm, no one can replace any one of YOU who are reading my blog right now :P i know you know what i mean. you know lah <3 *smacks heart and peace*

but what im trying to make a point is, i somehow kind of let my guard down and open up a liiiiiiitle and it turns out quite good.

to be honest, I tended to keep a distance with a few of them because of some reasons. Then I thought. I'm not a perfect person too. If they don't dislike me for my qualities, then why should I? Hmm. But there are always some of those people who dont deserve my friendliness. Behind the back friendliness I mean. Especially those who wont concentrate in class but always laugh whenever teacher teaches and show NO sign of respect at all. Fun.
Hmmm. I used to (i realised but didnt know it's until this extent) just stay my own way and do what i feel like doing in class and concentrate on my own in lessons and not talk to anyone. THUS, PEOPLE THINK IM SUCH A QUIET GIRL. QUIET. QUIET.

i mean, how can you put the word QUIET in me? hahaha. maybe i might be emo sometimes, but being SAMPAT is always my thing, really. i dont like to just- go to school, sit there alone, eat with MY SISTER, study alone, finish my work sitting in front of the computer and interacting with it like it's my new best friend, then GO HOME. how ridiculous -.- there goes my life. I AM SO NOT LIKE THAT. i like walking around class and gossip whatever gossips there are. (i mean in Msia. ahaha. not that the gossips here are my cup of tea anyway :P). and constantly saying HI to random people. i still havent reached THAT level of sampatness. heeeeh.

and you know what, i think KNOW im still in PHASE ONE. >.> pfft. hahaha. hmmm. so. what im thinking is, why not open up a little and see distantly what's going on in school (although everything seems stupid. but dont get me wrong, i do respect every single teacher and salute them for being capable of handling troops of monkeys in school. pity them *shakes head*. i really do. respect them, i mean. haha). oh yeah. see distantly, yes. after all, it's my one and only time to experience high school in the UK. not fun at all >.> but anyways, i dowanna regret after i left the school (*eyes light up by the thought alone!*) and yes, i cant wait for university or college or wherever it is 8D so yeah, i better make the most out of it?

that's basically it :) whoots. oh yea. i found out that GCSE DOES start in exactly a month's time, but im only starting to sit for the exam on the 28th or 29th, i forgot, but it's these two days. so yeah. EXTRA TWO WEEKS FOR ME! just saying. but really. heehee.

last but not least, i've found out something i wanna do sometime later. which is...

!!!

never thought of it before, honestly. hehehehehe. wait till my pants are old enough :D

and btw they dont call pants, pants here. zzz. so much for the americanisation or whatever they call it. movies as films etc etc.

oh and my birthday is in exactly (really exactly) a month's time! hahahaha. i didnt realise this until just now, when i searched for this comparison between Kobo ereader and Amazon Kindle. They're selling Kobo TOUCH(!) for only £79!!!!!! sheets, im so gonna get myself one! you know, i really like reading since idunnowhen. i was debating between these two ereaders actually. but since i can get a touch-able one cheaper, so why not? and it comes in different colours!

i LOVE the blue one! but it's out of stock in some shops so i'll figure out a way to get it. maybe the black will do if no more blue. THIS FOR MY BDAY PRESENT! but the thing is, my dad's bday is 2 days before mine -.- hahaha. how am i suppose to ask him for birthday present when his bday is there too?

opps gotta dash, mom's gonna !@#$% -______- one more last thing- i am feeling surprisingly lighthearted although im having P right now :D CHEERS TO ME! Another last thing. Hee. I found out that the word 'shit' is considered as a bad word -.- so next time when I wanna say 'shit!' when something goes wrong, I should replace it with 'FAECES!' Hahahaha. Really gonna dash.

bye.

Great.

not.

THE LAST DAY OF HOLIDAYS.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

oh how can i make it more emphasis? pfft. the point is. NOOOOO SCHOOL IS STARTING IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS. and that sucks, a lot T_____T

then, another seven mondays tuesdays wednesdays etc. more till the next holidays. well, seven. seven. Not too long actually. Erm actually it IS long but since im gonna sit for my GCSE in EXACTLY ONE MONTH'S time, i believe time will zoom past very immediately.

so. my new week(s) resolutions.

1. finish reading the two books i borrowed from the public library last week (didnt realise that GCSE is in a month's time and ended up bringing them back home -__-) IN A WEEKS' TIME. then..
2. start revising for English Maths Humanities Film Studies. ps. what is there to study (except for Maths) actually T_T okay, i'll just revise and revise and revise my notes. and make notes. then revise again.
3. oh yes start going to the gym more often :) since the weather turned warmer (AND COLDER AGAIN THESE FEW DAYS GRR) i might try and sweat a drop or two -.- wont work, i know. I JUST WONT SWEAT SINCE I'VE MOVED HERE T_T makes me feel so unhealthy. *shudders*
4. erm what else. let's stop here for a moment. i'll come back to it HEE.

Erm. cant believe GCSE is like, so near :O THEN IT'S SUMMER! cant wait, seriously. words cant describe how excited i am! although it's not as if there're anything exciting happening. but it's just that.. we can stay put of school for one and a half months! 8D and the warm days and breezy winds. I WANNA GO TO THE BEACH :) and gardens full of flowers everywhere. i love the nature. hmm.

so to put it in a whole sentence:

i wanna start studying hard after i've finished reading two books by this week and go to the gym more often and score very well in my GCSE. i cant afford NOT-GOOD grades. please, teachers. dont always take grade C as a very good SUPER grade. the students will rot... and rot and rot and rot.

*edits
it feels quite weird. cz it's the first year that im experiencing school life in the UK and how it actually ends in one whole semester. like, in msia, we used to start school in the beginning of the year and end in the end of the year. so it's quite, erm, syncronised? whatever the word is, i mean it's kinda in order. so yeah. in here, it feels like.. "HUH? SUMMER HOLIDAYS IS HERE ALREADY?" it's not that summer hols is surprising me, it's that we're gonna have hols in the mid-year! (not exactly mid year but i know you get what i mean, dont you?) so yeah. kinda glad actually. at last a break. a long break. IM BREAKING FREEEE! just saying :B these two weeks of hols was not bad actually. and i feel so prepared for school tmr :D idk why, but there's this feeling that tells me, the sooner the school starts, the sooner the holidays approach. SEE, im so optimistic. sometimes. but i love this part of me :D and the sooner i get this LOVELY GCSE over with, the sooner i'll be free! now, this is real BREAKING FREE. hahahaha. im having a good day :D that's why im blabbering so much. teehee.

okay. gonna stop here :D lost the mood to keep blabbering x) after i saw the picture of this. ewwwwwww. so yeah. TAKE CARE.

lotsa love,
seekee in the house!

oh yeah, lemme tell you a little thought: i like the name Iris and might be changing mine to this after i've finished high school ;) NGEHEHEHEHE. maybe, maybe not. depends on my mood that time. let's see if i still rmb this xD

Stupefied.

I like this word. Heehee. Somehow it sounds like... you know, the spells in Harry Potter. Hahaha. Really!

Oh anyway it's 0211 now. I'm in my bed but can't seem to sleep. And I just thought of scribbling something here.

Having my phone so close to my eyes here under my blanket is making me cockeyed. Haha. And it's getting suffocating @.@ You ask me why I have to hide under my blanket? Because I won't wanna let my siblings know I'm using my phone in the middle of the night. Erm after midnight, I should say. Hee. Just saying.

Actually... I often think about my friends in Msia. Not that I'm clarifying anything. But. Just so you know... Although we might not speak so often and stuff... You're still in my heart :D whoever you are. Hee.

I think a lot before I sleep. Always do. Therefore I should sleep now. Hahaha lame. You know why lame? Cz I've just talked to my lame friend Eileen just now for more than 2 hours :BBB or should it be :OOO oh anyways it's great hearing her voice again :) after these few months. Yes MONTHS. I always feel bad for not keeping quite in touch with my friends. (this should be in the paragraph above but somehow it ended here haha).

Hahaha I'm really suffocating here, my mind is not working fine hahahaha.
Okay I really needa get out of my blanket I'm hardly breathing any oxygen hahahahah or else I'll pass out x.x


Heehee. Good night to me :) good morning to you people in Msia :)

*pops head out of blanket* FUH FRESH AIR. I DON'T CARE EDI.

i feel like hibernating.

like, getting out of reach in the cyber world. i just dont know why.

well scrap that.

erm, im home. in Birmingham, and im not happy about it.
i think i know why. because it doesnt feel very homey in here. with my sister usurping the damn room. and eating at my bed. we share bed, you see. and she's eating at my place in the bed. hmmm. i've been at my aunt's house with my cousins. and it was really fun. it's been a week, and i hated the fact that i always feel like school is gonna start damn soon when you're here at home after having fun for a week. i still have 4 more days of holidays excluding today. before i know it, i'll be in school already. dreaded that. once school starts, i'll have to concentrate extra harder in lessons because i have to do well in my GCSE. in fact, i started panicking since last month. idk why other people can take GCSE like it's only a minor exam. despite the fact that they are RESITTING it. god. go get a life if you dowanna study man. why bother coming to school? grrr. well, seeing the people is one of the main reason i dreaded school too.

ahhhhhh so depressing T_T actually i havent even done my homework yet. not that it's a lot but.. it still takes some time to actually get my hands on it. im having a cold since yesterday. ate medicine and feel soooo sleepy. or drowsy. whatever you call it. and that's probably the reason for getting so depressed -.-

ah anyways. i've seen my friends posting about career week in school. i've been wondering too. what career actually suits me. still lost, yes. i was wondering should i pick up and resit GCSE Science when i finished this year's GCSE. now that i dont study science subjects means im totally blocking my "science pathways", of you get what i mean.

tell you what, i kinda miss the feeling of having crush. hahaha. seriously. you know, when in SAB everyone seems to have crush respectively and being with my gang, we can talk and insult one another. IN HERE, the people are un-look-able. ah idk how to put it into sentences. not that im fatt hau-ing. if you understand what i mean.

ps. i really had had a great week. it felt so good being with my cousins who seem like my sisters. i laughed almost everyday there :) im really looking forward to the next holidays. in 7 weeks' time. which means 7 mondays. not a good thing. :( plus GCSE is coming.
pss. something terrible is gonna happen in Indonesia, Malaysia and Singapore. please pray for everyone. i dont have the courage to let history repeat itself.

it makes me see how scary the world can be.

Meaningful.

" 这是一双鞋子的故事。
灵感源自于法证先锋II, 女主角看上了一双很漂亮的鞋 。那不是一双很普通的鞋，而是装饰版的迷你小鞋，外面镶有漂亮的钻石。但是太贵了，男主角买不起。男主角只好自己买了一双小鞋，很用心的用自己的一双巧手，把一片片的小亮片镶在那一双小鞋上，好博取女主角的欢心。鞋子还没送，一场意外，女主角死了。这一双鞋代表着，希望可以永远走在一起的象征。一人持有一只，象征着自己是彼此的另一半，直到永远。那是一辈子的幸福和承诺。
那时在高中，天真。看了这一幕觉得这个礼物真的很特别，很有意义。所以，就决定送了一个一模一样的小鞋给我高中最要好的朋友，约定好要一起成为一辈子最好的朋友。高中时的天真上了大学后就发现这种约定好傻。一辈子，说得简单，做得难。与最好的朋友失去联络后，那一个约定就只能成为如影子般黯然的回忆。
但随着自己在外面自己闯荡后，看到的东西多了，思想也变得豁然的不少。虽然不能够答应一辈子在一起。但如果真心成为别人的伙伴，每一秒与朋友在一起都是最美好的一辈子。只要好好珍惜，哪怕真的是以后都再也见不到面，再也无法联络，再也没有共同的语言，再也不再是同一个世界的人，我们都是伙伴，都是朋友。
所以，在这一个感恩节里，我买了五只鞋，送给我最珍惜的伙伴与朋友们。虽然我们相隔两地，但谢谢你曾经陪我走过的路，陪我一起穿着一双鞋闯荡过我这个五花八门的世界。当你收到这一双鞋时，记得，这是我曾经用泪换来的豁达，这是我对你无尽的感恩，这是我们两个友谊最真诚的见证。
谢谢你，朋友！"

- Akira Wong