Torn between:
"It's already the last day of July, just relax for the last day and start working your ass off from tomorrow onwards!"
and;
"IT'S ALREADY THE LAST DAY OF JULY. MUST AT LEAST START DOING SOMETHING!"
i'll figure out which direction im gonna go to later after i've watched all the dramas (only 3 episodes -.-) tonight. probably at 9+pm i'll start my work.
I've phoned the Comms Team about marshalling a judge, and i've got to write an email to him about it. That's alright i guess. but he said he cant guarantee my application. at least im trying!
*
Sometimes i wonder, i need to go through so much hassles in order to reach something. What if everything isnt worthwhile? What if the mission is impossible?
But then again: if i dont try, i'll never know.
Wednesday, 31 July 2013
Sunday, 28 July 2013
Saturday, 27 July 2013
"We sometimes see excellent students fall into the trap of indulging in their success of gaining entry into a prestigious university. Not that there is anything truly wrong with this but once in a while you do see someone get carried away and rely a lot on their alma mater to give them their identity and see them through life. This can be dangerous because the initiative for success is subconsciously made dormant. They often become too complacent because of the false safety blanket of their university affiliation and will subsequently lose the drive they once had and gain a selfish sense of entitlement."- Julian Tan
That's what I'd hate to see in myself. (not that I'm really an 'excellent' student)
"We must not let this happen to us. The distinguished university we once affiliated with should never define us; it is we who must define ourselves. And in fact, it is the students that define the university anyway.
Let us not forget that in the grand scheme of things, university is not the end but preparation for the beginning.
So, does it really matter to us whether Oxford is better than Cambridge or vice versa? Does it really matter which university we end up going to, Oxbridge or not, and where it is in the university rankings?
Yes in a way but in essence, no. As Baz Luhrmann very wisely put it, "the race is long and, in the end, it is only with yourself"."
So inspiring!
What is your special day?
Mine is definitely not Birthday.
i do nothing i dont do much on my Birthday. it's just like any normal day, which it actually is, but i do feel a littttttle bit more special.
Watch me: im turning really geeky ahaha.
I figured out that Results day is actually a really special day. It's not just about the grades and the piece of result slip you get.
It's about how much work you've done that makes you there. It's about whether or not all your hardwork is paid off. It's about the effort you've made in one whole year for different subjects. It's about happiness. And most importantly, it's about how proud you've made your parents to have you as a child and also the teachers to have you, amongst all the others, as a student.
The thing is, the teachers are gonna know the results a day before us -.- so, no surprise for them. Well, actually there is. but i'd be more interested in seeing their faces once they know our results. watching their reaction is more entertaining. haha.
im really really scared. i dont wanna (no matter how many times i've repeated this) disappoint them. Im actually even more scared than the previous one. because idk whether i'll reach the expectation that the teachers and, most importantly, I have set for myself.
but oh well. what's done is done. cant do much. just pray that the grade boundaries are really low. and the examiner was in a good mood when he/she was marking my paper. *fingers crossed*
Watch me: im turning really geeky ahaha.
I figured out that Results day is actually a really special day. It's not just about the grades and the piece of result slip you get.
It's about how much work you've done that makes you there. It's about whether or not all your hardwork is paid off. It's about the effort you've made in one whole year for different subjects. It's about happiness. And most importantly, it's about how proud you've made your parents to have you as a child and also the teachers to have you, amongst all the others, as a student.
The thing is, the teachers are gonna know the results a day before us -.- so, no surprise for them. Well, actually there is. but i'd be more interested in seeing their faces once they know our results. watching their reaction is more entertaining. haha.
im really really scared. i dont wanna (no matter how many times i've repeated this) disappoint them. Im actually even more scared than the previous one. because idk whether i'll reach the expectation that the teachers and, most importantly, I have set for myself.
but oh well. what's done is done. cant do much. just pray that the grade boundaries are really low. and the examiner was in a good mood when he/she was marking my paper. *fingers crossed*
feel so dead.
so lazy and tired :(
I woke up at (i actually forgot what time) 8+am because of the stupid gate of the shop next door plus the people were talking so loudly (seriously, why are they awake so early?), and then i went back to sleep but at 9am, my mom crashed (like literally) into my room and chuck a letter on my table (MOM IM SLEEPING) and (of course, curiosity kills) i went to check out on that letter. It was from my school, telling us they key dates eg RESULTS DAY and the first day of term. then again, i went back to sleep till 10.30am. SUCH A DISASTROUS MORNING.
and the school has changed the dresscode. it was "smart casual" last few years, but recently (apparently it's because we dressed too casually over the past few weeks since exam's finished) they make it "smart business wear". super formal. im just gonna stick to shirt shirt shirt shirt and skirt skirt skirt skirt. and the dress/skirt must "be no longer than knee length". i'll look like a midget :( but i think they'll let us wear a bit above knee length. it's just that those people in my school like to wear super mini skirts/dresses (so uncomfortable) to school. cant stand that. the new dress code is good actually, despite being a bit dull. at least i wont see people wear leggings as trouser or super mini skirts (i feel scared for them when there's wind, you know haha). and the school will look so professional *being so optimistic!!* not bad, not bad. but then sooner or later, i think it will slowly go back to being smart casual again. haha. it happened last year. (well, maybe they're stricter this year) but i did still stick with my semi-formal dresscode last time till now. cz i bought the shirt last year already, might as well wear it throughout the year. and it looks so cool and professional :B haha. i dont get how people wear t-shirt to school knowing that the teacher will tell them off -.- like seriously. like they're going shopping.
we went to the Walmart and had KFC. i had too much food that im pretty sure that i will gain lots of weight before school even starts. i feel so useless, lying in my bed worrying about my weight (and homework actually). i feel like jogging, but lacked determination and will :P oh well. but seriously, im eating too much.
I prefer school days, to be honest. idk whether i've mentioned this before, but at least we get less homework which is due maybe next lesson. not a PILE of homework for EACH subject ready to be handed in once school reopens. actually, i think if we divide the homework per week, we actually get twice the amount of work we usually get in school -.- holiday, they say.
OH DID I TELL YOU. i actually did my work yesterday! was so determined! in the afternoon i didnt do anything and then after dinner, i showered and thought, since the light is still not fixed, i should do some work till the sun sets. it worked! but it took a lot of effort tho. haha. although it's law, i still feel lazy to do it (luckily i have more will for this) :P i have one more booklet and key cases (LOADS) left, and law is sorted!
I'll see when i'll have the will to really pack it in and start all my work properly. I told myself not to slack till 1st Aug. That's the deadline. then im gonna make a study timetable for myself. hope it will work well for this time too!
im still so sleepy :(
i think i should pick up running again. cant afford to keep eating and let the fats conquer my body again. haha.
I woke up at (i actually forgot what time) 8+am because of the stupid gate of the shop next door plus the people were talking so loudly (seriously, why are they awake so early?), and then i went back to sleep but at 9am, my mom crashed (like literally) into my room and chuck a letter on my table (MOM IM SLEEPING) and (of course, curiosity kills) i went to check out on that letter. It was from my school, telling us they key dates eg RESULTS DAY and the first day of term. then again, i went back to sleep till 10.30am. SUCH A DISASTROUS MORNING.
and the school has changed the dresscode. it was "smart casual" last few years, but recently (apparently it's because we dressed too casually over the past few weeks since exam's finished) they make it "smart business wear". super formal. im just gonna stick to shirt shirt shirt shirt and skirt skirt skirt skirt. and the dress/skirt must "be no longer than knee length". i'll look like a midget :( but i think they'll let us wear a bit above knee length. it's just that those people in my school like to wear super mini skirts/dresses (so uncomfortable) to school. cant stand that. the new dress code is good actually, despite being a bit dull. at least i wont see people wear leggings as trouser or super mini skirts (i feel scared for them when there's wind, you know haha). and the school will look so professional *being so optimistic!!* not bad, not bad. but then sooner or later, i think it will slowly go back to being smart casual again. haha. it happened last year. (well, maybe they're stricter this year) but i did still stick with my semi-formal dresscode last time till now. cz i bought the shirt last year already, might as well wear it throughout the year. and it looks so cool and professional :B haha. i dont get how people wear t-shirt to school knowing that the teacher will tell them off -.- like seriously. like they're going shopping.
we went to the Walmart and had KFC. i had too much food that im pretty sure that i will gain lots of weight before school even starts. i feel so useless, lying in my bed worrying about my weight (and homework actually). i feel like jogging, but lacked determination and will :P oh well. but seriously, im eating too much.
I prefer school days, to be honest. idk whether i've mentioned this before, but at least we get less homework which is due maybe next lesson. not a PILE of homework for EACH subject ready to be handed in once school reopens. actually, i think if we divide the homework per week, we actually get twice the amount of work we usually get in school -.- holiday, they say.
OH DID I TELL YOU. i actually did my work yesterday! was so determined! in the afternoon i didnt do anything and then after dinner, i showered and thought, since the light is still not fixed, i should do some work till the sun sets. it worked! but it took a lot of effort tho. haha. although it's law, i still feel lazy to do it (luckily i have more will for this) :P i have one more booklet and key cases (LOADS) left, and law is sorted!
I'll see when i'll have the will to really pack it in and start all my work properly. I told myself not to slack till 1st Aug. That's the deadline. then im gonna make a study timetable for myself. hope it will work well for this time too!
im still so sleepy :(
i think i should pick up running again. cant afford to keep eating and let the fats conquer my body again. haha.
Friday, 26 July 2013
"it takes sadness to know happiness".
INDEED.
it was such a disastrous day yesterday!
EVERY. SINGLE. THING. didnt go right.
But fortunately at the moment today was (im hoping that it still IS) A VERY GOOD DAY!
i just feel really motivated!
I just got an email from my Law teacher saying that the school has arranged some Open Days for me to go for after school has reopened! the school doesnt normally do it. but i think they're starting to organise those things for us. anyways, i cant express how grateful i am to have such teachers! and one of the open days is on Friday. which means Im gonnaskip school be absent, but Ms said im allowed to! haha.
and then i've sent out my CVs out. only two. haha. at least it's somehow sorted :) and the light problem- my uncle (an electrician in Malaysia) has sorted it out. haha. not as serious as we thought.
im on my laptop but im pretty sure that i'm gonna do my work after this! not gonna watch any show/drama. VERY DETERMINED!
so glad that i'm back to normal. i cant wait for the open days!
ps. i just heard someone outside saying something "EUROPEAN UNION!" haha.
i cant help but stress how NERVOUS i am. THREE MORE WEEKS TILL RESULTS DAY.
it was such a disastrous day yesterday!
EVERY. SINGLE. THING. didnt go right.
But fortunately at the moment today was (im hoping that it still IS) A VERY GOOD DAY!
i just feel really motivated!
I just got an email from my Law teacher saying that the school has arranged some Open Days for me to go for after school has reopened! the school doesnt normally do it. but i think they're starting to organise those things for us. anyways, i cant express how grateful i am to have such teachers! and one of the open days is on Friday. which means Im gonna
and then i've sent out my CVs out. only two. haha. at least it's somehow sorted :) and the light problem- my uncle (an electrician in Malaysia) has sorted it out. haha. not as serious as we thought.
im on my laptop but im pretty sure that i'm gonna do my work after this! not gonna watch any show/drama. VERY DETERMINED!
so glad that i'm back to normal. i cant wait for the open days!
ps. i just heard someone outside saying something "EUROPEAN UNION!" haha.
i cant help but stress how NERVOUS i am. THREE MORE WEEKS TILL RESULTS DAY.
Thursday, 25 July 2013
Oxford.
A trip. nothing else. haha.
I cant believe that i didnt mention this yesterday when i was posting my blog about dudley zoo. I went to Oxford with my mom, sis and bro (dad was working) the day before. got ready by 1.30pm, reached there at 3.30. it was new to us and so we took more than 30mins to find a parking lot. and it's so expensive. HASSLES.
so yeah. our journey involved walking and going around the city by the sight-seeing bus. all the pictures can be viewed through my fb album. something ran through my mind when i was travelling in the city. would i wanna spend 3 years in this (pretty) hectic city? it's not as hectic as in a normal city. it's really crowded and busy. maybe im one of the kind of people who like quiet and peaceful living style. but then again, you can get almost everything there. Compared to Cambridge, it's a lot a lot busier. Well, maybe i didnt really explore Cambridge properly. My mom said we should all visit Cambridge again.
Nevertheless, Crown Court and County Court (it's in the same building. how cool!) never fail to intrigue me. no i didnt go in there HAHA but i still feel amazed!
the buildings were really really pretty. there's this old man who kept asking us questions and answering them for us. HAHA. for example, he asked "do you know where the books are?" (we're in the library) and we were like, hmm not sure. he went "it's in the underground". hahaha. it's kind of funny! but he seems so knowledgeable.
oh yeah. i wanted to say that i feel so demotivated today. it's like idk what to do with my life. too much homework (idek where to start), stuck with my laptop with a show i can watch (turned out it's pretty boring), worrying about my work experience and marshalling a judge, wondering if i'll hate school next year, FREAKING NERVOUS ABOUT MY RESULTS (EXACTLY THREE WEEKS' TIME), my laptop's microsoft office is gone (no Word, PPT, nor Excel), my right abdomen hurts, my study table is so messy (cant be bothered to organise it), and the light is so dim.
but there's this part of me telling me that: since you're so demotivated, go do your work. at least im engage with something. i wanna watch the show actually. quickly finish it, so i can concentrate on my work. excuses, i know. but im the type of person who must finish something if I've started it. weird, of course im weird. heh.
it's the 7th day of holiday and it feels like ages. It feels like it's been a month. i dont really like long holidays.we i have more homework than ever, we i procrastinate even more, we i feel extremely bored, we i get a lot lazier, we i have no where to go, and we i gain weight. hahaha. seriously, it's only been a week! 6 more weeks to go. which means 6 more weeks to do my work. minus Tuesdays where my mom usually brings us out, that is 5 weeks. i dont think i'll be able to finish all my work ... im feel so lazy :(
i feel so lost. i wanna do my work but at the same time i dont. i should hibernate. UGH.
*edits
I JUST PERMANENTLY DELETED THE PROM PICTURE OF ME AND MY PSYCHOLOGY TEACHER BY ACCIDENT. COULD THIS DAY GET ANY WORSE.
**edits (again)
THE LIGHT BULB OF MY ROOM SUDDENLY WENT "PAAAP!" because i sort of taken it out but never put it back properly.
PLEASE DONT GET ANY WORSE.
...
so.. we cannot use the lights in all the rooms now. sigh. what did i do :(
I cant believe that i didnt mention this yesterday when i was posting my blog about dudley zoo. I went to Oxford with my mom, sis and bro (dad was working) the day before. got ready by 1.30pm, reached there at 3.30. it was new to us and so we took more than 30mins to find a parking lot. and it's so expensive. HASSLES.
so yeah. our journey involved walking and going around the city by the sight-seeing bus. all the pictures can be viewed through my fb album. something ran through my mind when i was travelling in the city. would i wanna spend 3 years in this (pretty) hectic city? it's not as hectic as in a normal city. it's really crowded and busy. maybe im one of the kind of people who like quiet and peaceful living style. but then again, you can get almost everything there. Compared to Cambridge, it's a lot a lot busier. Well, maybe i didnt really explore Cambridge properly. My mom said we should all visit Cambridge again.
Nevertheless, Crown Court and County Court (it's in the same building. how cool!) never fail to intrigue me. no i didnt go in there HAHA but i still feel amazed!
the buildings were really really pretty. there's this old man who kept asking us questions and answering them for us. HAHA. for example, he asked "do you know where the books are?" (we're in the library) and we were like, hmm not sure. he went "it's in the underground". hahaha. it's kind of funny! but he seems so knowledgeable.
oh yeah. i wanted to say that i feel so demotivated today. it's like idk what to do with my life. too much homework (idek where to start), stuck with my laptop with a show i can watch (turned out it's pretty boring), worrying about my work experience and marshalling a judge, wondering if i'll hate school next year, FREAKING NERVOUS ABOUT MY RESULTS (EXACTLY THREE WEEKS' TIME), my laptop's microsoft office is gone (no Word, PPT, nor Excel), my right abdomen hurts, my study table is so messy (cant be bothered to organise it), and the light is so dim.
but there's this part of me telling me that: since you're so demotivated, go do your work. at least im engage with something. i wanna watch the show actually. quickly finish it, so i can concentrate on my work. excuses, i know. but im the type of person who must finish something if I've started it. weird, of course im weird. heh.
it's the 7th day of holiday and it feels like ages. It feels like it's been a month. i dont really like long holidays.
i feel so lost. i wanna do my work but at the same time i dont. i should hibernate. UGH.
*edits
I JUST PERMANENTLY DELETED THE PROM PICTURE OF ME AND MY PSYCHOLOGY TEACHER BY ACCIDENT. COULD THIS DAY GET ANY WORSE.
**edits (again)
THE LIGHT BULB OF MY ROOM SUDDENLY WENT "PAAAP!" because i sort of taken it out but never put it back properly.
PLEASE DONT GET ANY WORSE.
...
so.. we cannot use the lights in all the rooms now. sigh. what did i do :(
Wednesday, 24 July 2013
procrastination.
I FEEL LIKE SLAPPING MYSELFFFFF.
I felt so so so motivated to do my work just now! i finished watching the dramas wich are out today, and then i was like, OMG I WANNA start DOING MY WORK! and i actually felt excited! but then i saw a pile of laundry in my room. My mom left it there. I was like, i should help my mom to fold the clothes. SO I DID THAT. and then the worst thing is when i was folding the clothes, i listened to music on Youtube ... ONLY TO REALISE THAT I STILL HAVE A DOCUMENTARY TV SHOW TO WATCH. i watched till episode 8 yesterday and completely forgot about it today (idk how). SO of course i wanna continue watching. IF ONLY I DIDNTFOLD THE CLOTHES LISTEN TO MUSIC ON YOUTUBE. :((((((
there i am, telling myself that i'll start doing my work on the first day of August (which is actually not far away). Six days. I know that i will feel really guilty and bad if i spend ALL SIX DAYS watching the show. I hate myself man. WHY DID I REMEMBER THAT I HAVENT FINISHED WATCHING IT?! if i didnt remember, i've probably started my work already T_____T but then now i dont wanna start my work :((((((( but i will feel bad. but it's only the start of the holidays T_T (it feels like ages.) SHOOT RESULTS DAY. omg man. i saw my law teacher in school today (i'll tell you why i needed to go to school today in a bit) AND I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT MY RESULTS OMG. so scary nerve-wrecking spine-chilling (does this word even exist?). so yeah it's only the start of the holidays :( the fifth day haha. who knows. i might do my work later tonight (i might really actually). actually no. once i've started watching, i'll never stop.
I HATE DILEMMAS. I HATE CHOOSING. I WANNA MARRY A HUSBAND WHO WILL DECIDE EVERYTHING FOR ME (CHOICES WHICH I WILL LIKE OF COURSE).
SO. the reason i wanna type this post is:
DEAR FUTURE ASHLEIGH CHAI SEE KEE PLEASE DO NOT PROCRASTINATE ANYMORE.
T_T please slap me.
oh and i went to dudley zoo and castle today! it was a 'psychology trip' haha. only 5 of us and Mrs Rukar our psychology teacher :D i went to school at 9.40 -___- bcs my sis needed to be in school for this maths tuition thingy. SHE teaches other students. hahaha. oh well. so i was the only one there -.- with my teacher. it was pretty awkward, cz i cant really talk :/ if only i know how to talk and engage in a conversation. sigh.
Overall it was alright. OH. i finally witnessed a Macaque. You know how ppl describe females who put loads of make up especially blusher 'baboon butt'? I SAW THE BUTTS TODAY. they (the asses HAHAHA) look really ugly tbh. haha. and apparently when the female macaques get attracted by the males, their asses will turn REDDER. FUYOH. im amazed. haha.
oh then there's this little boy called "reece" (not sure about the spelling) who was holding a cheap (like toy, but usable) camera and kept snapping pics of me. I WAS SO SCARED. i tried to turn my back towards him but then he shoved my shoulders and made me face him again. i was like .. okay i'll play with my phone. HAHA. i should've acted cool and smile and let him take a picture of me. i bet he'll go away after that. oh well. he's about 6/7 yo i think.
So yeah. Oh and there's a chair lift (like a cable car, without the 'cube', just chairs) to bring us up the mini hill. It was quite fun! but a bit dangerous and scary. that's like my favourite part of the trip. hahaha. we went to the dudley castle and went up to the highest floor. when we were coming down the stairs (you know those olden days staircases where you turn round and round and round) i hurt my knees (the joints above). HURT SO MUCH :( i was nearly limping, my legs were kinda wobbly. i was so scared that i'll roll down the stairs. haha. but seriously. it hurts so bad i dont even know why.I COULD BARELY WALK.
then we went home at 2. my friends wanted to watch Despicable Me 2 but i went home instead. i was a good day actually :)
I felt so so so motivated to do my work just now! i finished watching the dramas wich are out today, and then i was like, OMG I WANNA start DOING MY WORK! and i actually felt excited! but then i saw a pile of laundry in my room. My mom left it there. I was like, i should help my mom to fold the clothes. SO I DID THAT. and then the worst thing is when i was folding the clothes, i listened to music on Youtube ... ONLY TO REALISE THAT I STILL HAVE A DOCUMENTARY TV SHOW TO WATCH. i watched till episode 8 yesterday and completely forgot about it today (idk how). SO of course i wanna continue watching. IF ONLY I DIDNT
there i am, telling myself that i'll start doing my work on the first day of August (which is actually not far away). Six days. I know that i will feel really guilty and bad if i spend ALL SIX DAYS watching the show. I hate myself man. WHY DID I REMEMBER THAT I HAVENT FINISHED WATCHING IT?! if i didnt remember, i've probably started my work already T_____T but then now i dont wanna start my work :((((((( but i will feel bad. but it's only the start of the holidays T_T (it feels like ages.) SHOOT RESULTS DAY. omg man. i saw my law teacher in school today (i'll tell you why i needed to go to school today in a bit) AND I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT MY RESULTS OMG. so scary nerve-wrecking spine-chilling (does this word even exist?). so yeah it's only the start of the holidays :( the fifth day haha. who knows. i might do my work later tonight (i might really actually). actually no. once i've started watching, i'll never stop.
I HATE DILEMMAS. I HATE CHOOSING. I WANNA MARRY A HUSBAND WHO WILL DECIDE EVERYTHING FOR ME (CHOICES WHICH I WILL LIKE OF COURSE).
SO. the reason i wanna type this post is:
DEAR FUTURE ASHLEIGH CHAI SEE KEE PLEASE DO NOT PROCRASTINATE ANYMORE.
T_T please slap me.
oh and i went to dudley zoo and castle today! it was a 'psychology trip' haha. only 5 of us and Mrs Rukar our psychology teacher :D i went to school at 9.40 -___- bcs my sis needed to be in school for this maths tuition thingy. SHE teaches other students. hahaha. oh well. so i was the only one there -.- with my teacher. it was pretty awkward, cz i cant really talk :/ if only i know how to talk and engage in a conversation. sigh.
Overall it was alright. OH. i finally witnessed a Macaque. You know how ppl describe females who put loads of make up especially blusher 'baboon butt'? I SAW THE BUTTS TODAY. they (the asses HAHAHA) look really ugly tbh. haha. and apparently when the female macaques get attracted by the males, their asses will turn REDDER. FUYOH. im amazed. haha.
oh then there's this little boy called "reece" (not sure about the spelling) who was holding a cheap (like toy, but usable) camera and kept snapping pics of me. I WAS SO SCARED. i tried to turn my back towards him but then he shoved my shoulders and made me face him again. i was like .. okay i'll play with my phone. HAHA. i should've acted cool and smile and let him take a picture of me. i bet he'll go away after that. oh well. he's about 6/7 yo i think.
So yeah. Oh and there's a chair lift (like a cable car, without the 'cube', just chairs) to bring us up the mini hill. It was quite fun! but a bit dangerous and scary. that's like my favourite part of the trip. hahaha. we went to the dudley castle and went up to the highest floor. when we were coming down the stairs (you know those olden days staircases where you turn round and round and round) i hurt my knees (the joints above). HURT SO MUCH :( i was nearly limping, my legs were kinda wobbly. i was so scared that i'll roll down the stairs. haha. but seriously. it hurts so bad i dont even know why.I COULD BARELY WALK.
then we went home at 2. my friends wanted to watch Despicable Me 2 but i went home instead. i was a good day actually :)
Saturday, 20 July 2013
Neurotic.
I'm seriously getting a bit neurotic. Idk why.
As you know (you probably don't, really), SUMMER BREAK HAS BEGUNNNNNNN!!!!
I'm really excited actually. A part of me says the opposite. As usual. Sooooo I've got no plan actually. Well, my friend says I could go over her house to have some fun. Maybe during Eid. Dunno whether the plan will work. But I'll see.
I actually plan to 'be useless' and slack for three days. Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I feel like reading/finish reading my book. I have so many books but I doubt that ill finish reading the, since I have so much work. I was so tired yesterday. Barely wanna move. And my mom was like, 'you look so tired. Is it because you overworked yourself over past few weeks?' Well, at least she noticed that I was working. Hahaha. That's why I feel like being useless for this week. But there's this part of me urging myself to 'GO DO YOUR WORK, ASHLEIGH.' :(
Oh yeah. We had this fundraiser car wash event to raise money for New York. We need to raise £3000 by next March/April apparently. Sounds a lot. But we'll work our way through. The car wash event was quite a disaster. Not in the profit aspect. We raised about £80 washing 20 cars (more or less). It was disaster as in I didn't work well with my so called friends. I don't wanna start a drama or anything. But it was really tiring because they said they were 'really tired' and ended up keep asking me to carry buckets of water for them. I don't really mind carrying buckets, but at least say PLEASE and THANK YOU. I'm not your slave, just so you know. They were like, 'Ashleigh, can you come with me to get some more water?' Although i was really tired, I agreed cz I thought who's gonna do it if everyone says they're tired? But then they immediately said 'oh actually we just need a bucket of water' and they just stayed there.
This is something that really gets me. Even my friend says that I don't normally get angry but this time... I just can't tolerate anymore. It was the second day (we had to wash one more car). I stayed with them till late evening on the first day to wash the cars too and FYI we went home together at 6.00pm. And one of them just claimed that I'm 'the least tired'. Like what the hell. I'm still quite gutted actually. But since it's the start of Summer break, I should let go of everything that makes me unhappy in school (don't think I can do it anyway).
One thing I've realised is, I don't really care about what most ppl think about me already. At this stage, i just wanna get on with my life and do the best I could to succeed. I don't have time for this kind of drama, pleasing everyone by obeying and complying with them. Oh btw, I know someone dislikes me in school actually. Idk what I've done, but I can feel that one or two of them were talking about me in their mother language IN FRONT OF ME. it's kind of ridiculous, really. But I don't really care. What can I do anyway? I find myself very different compared to how I was before. I used to question myself from time to time, thinking what I can do to prevent people disliking me (such ugly truth). But now, I'm being myself, kind of ignoring ppl who don't really like me. one thing is, I don't expect everyone to like me. But if you don't, please don't act like you do. It's really ugly. I rather someone just ignore me.
Oh yeah. I've written up my CV and cover letter to apply for voluntary/work experience. I've been to 3 solicitors firm, but they said they currently don't offer any work/voluntary experience. I've visited the Citizens Advice Bureau as well and applied for the Office Admin position. But they need 3 weeks to sort something out. And then I've been to this charity shop called Oxfam today. Again, they need 'a couple of weeks time' to get back to me. I was like, I DON'T HAVE MANY 'A COUPLE OF WEEKS' YOU KNOW. I wanna do something productive this summer. But everything doesn't seem to go smoothly ugh. But I'll still try. No matter what. I might just go straight to the Crown Court and see if they have anything to offer.
Talking about my Cv and cover letter, I'm so grateful to have my teachers to help me! Initially, I've written my first drafts and asked Mrs Westwood to proofread and check them. Then she tweaked and improved both my CV and cover letter. She emailed me this really detailed advice on how I can improve my Cv and CL. It was really really detailed. I was wondering that it must've took her really long to type that email :') Then she asked whether I want her to forward my CV and CL to the legal department in her husband's insurance company. :') and she asked me to send them to my other two law teachers Mr Iqbal and Mrs Flora as well. I think she told them about it yesterday in school (we finished school on Thursday but teachers still have to go to school on Friday haha). And then Mr Iqbal replied my email attaching his cover letter for me to use as a guide or something at 12.26am. I mean, surely teachers dont sleep early but then at least they took the effort to reply my email late at night :') WHERE TO FIND TEACHERS LIKE THEM?!!! Mrs Flora has been really helpful as well. She didn't even teach me (only taught me in revision class and when i gatecrash her class haha) but she kept helping me in finding useful voluntary work like the Witness Support org. But sadly I haven't got time for the 5-day compulsory training. I might do it next year. I can't stress this enough but I'm really grateful to have them as my law teachers. The teachers of my favourite subject aha!
Oh yeah. Back to the title, I said I'm being neurotic because I keep feeling like doing my work! Despite being the second day of the holiday! Idk why, but I just think I need to start doing my work already because I know that once I start slacking, I won't do my work (not this time tho, I know that I will do my work). I have waaaaaay too much work to do. I have:
- EPQ aka the 5000-word essay
- my law booklet (not really worried about cz ive got the textbook heeheehee) and case cards (not compulsory, I just wanna do it before it gets too late when teachers ask us to when school starts)
- my psychology booklet (now, this is really hard!) and essay (difficult as well).
- personal statement (the school is making me do it although I'm not applying to Uni this year hahaha but it's okay. I'll see it as a practice)
I should be grateful actually. Cz I've only got 2 subjects. Others have three because they are doing 3 A2 subjects next year. But EPQ man. This is the one I'm really worried about. CZ IDK WHAT TO WRITE. That's why I'm saying I'm being neurotic. I needa start figuring out what to write already. Or maybe finish my other work first.
so yeah. It's not too bad, is it? Not unless I keep slacking. Ugh. I think I need to create another study timetable. Haha. It's quite useful, u know! Hmm. But I won't be able to use my laptop till tmr/Monday :( MY HARDDISK IS BROKEN. It's being repaired now :( costs £80 :( so sad :( I've got no money man. I'm using my iPad (this is when iPad comes in handy heh :P - but look at the amount of typos i've made) not bad huh ;)
I'm going for a trip to the zoo in Dudley next Wednesday. I don't really expect it to be fun. Dunno why. I think I'm losing hope in school lol. I feel like going back to becoming the person who ignores the rest of the people in school, concentrating only on her studies. That's me last year. But then again, I'll hate school. I don't wanna hate school. I loved school. And some of the people there. Perhaps it's just these few days. I'm sure (hopefully) that ill be back to normal again when school reopens. NO ACTUALLY. WHEN I GET MY RESULTS BACK. OMGGGGGG RESULTSSSSS. I really hopeeeee ill get what I want. PLEASEEEE. I can't afford disappointing anyone. after all these things. 15th August. I'm starting to count down now :SSS really scared.
I bought 4 Thank You cards for my teachers but didn't give them on the last day of school. im such an awkward person :( My friend suggests me to give them on results day. I was like, oh yeaah. I'll give them IF I get good results. I really wanna T___T I won't know how to face my teachers if I don't. TOUCHWOOD. I will i will i will!
Okaaaay. I've got nothing more to say. WISH ME LUCK EVERY NOW AND THEN! I really need it :) IM STILL SO NERVOUS QFDRWVAJQOSIW
Bye.
Monday, 15 July 2013
Time is ticking.
Im really sleepy and thirsty (idk why im not drinking my water when the bottle is just right next to me).
But i thought i'll just write it down.
So. I just realised that i've only got one year to prepare, unlike what my teachers said (two years), if i wanna apply to Oxbridge. Because im not applying this year, which means i'll apply in next September. So I'll have to make sure i get as much things done in this summer. and maybe some small things next summer. NOT TWO YEARS. sigh.
ONE YEAR. how to get things done?
But i thought i'll just write it down.
So. I just realised that i've only got one year to prepare, unlike what my teachers said (two years), if i wanna apply to Oxbridge. Because im not applying this year, which means i'll apply in next September. So I'll have to make sure i get as much things done in this summer. and maybe some small things next summer. NOT TWO YEARS. sigh.
ONE YEAR. how to get things done?
Saturday, 13 July 2013
FINALLY DONE TWO PAGES FOR MY EXTENDED PROJECT! just the planning. ahahaha. I forgot to mention yesterday that my teacher said i should carry on with my extended project. so next year i'll be very very very busy. Hopefully I'll follow all my plans. actually i dont even have a plan yet. hahaha. but oh well. I'll manage my time properly. And this might be something I can write in my personal statement? :D
Now I have my law work left. Due Monday and Tuesday. And I really have to write up my CV by tomorrow. Cz i need to send it off maybe tomorrow or Monday. I dont even have a clue how to write one. haha.
Okay then i shall proceed to my law work. SO DETERMINED TODAY AND YESTERDAY!
i wanna finish most of my work as soon and as much as possible so that i can free up my summer holidays for something more productive.
actually u know what, i have to help my mom first :/ my sister never helps. she just lies in her bed watching animes. and today when i asked her to help mom do something, she said she hurt her hand. she doesnt even help to wash the dishes. i have to do basically everything. she's like a freaking princess.
Now I have my law work left. Due Monday and Tuesday. And I really have to write up my CV by tomorrow. Cz i need to send it off maybe tomorrow or Monday. I dont even have a clue how to write one. haha.
Okay then i shall proceed to my law work. SO DETERMINED TODAY AND YESTERDAY!
i wanna finish most of my work as soon and as much as possible so that i can free up my summer holidays for something more productive.
actually u know what, i have to help my mom first :/ my sister never helps. she just lies in her bed watching animes. and today when i asked her to help mom do something, she said she hurt her hand. she doesnt even help to wash the dishes. i have to do basically everything. she's like a freaking princess.
Friday, 12 July 2013
SO MOTIVATED TO PUT THINGS INTO ACTION!!!
Really really motivated.
So i spoke to Mrs Westwood about my 'future' already.
However complicated it may seem, the chat did open myself up a little. It was
quite funny tho, the chat. Cz it was my other Law teacher Mr Iqbal who made her
do this. haha.
So we started off saying which Uni i wanna go and stuff,
and it all went back to the issue of "why not try applying to
Oxbridge?"
Sometimes i wonder, don't the teachers think they're having
too high expectation of me? What if i disappoint them? Bear in mind that my
exam results are coming out on the 15th August SHOOOTTT. so scared.
But then again, like what Ms has said, if i keep thinking
that i cant do it, then surely i wont be able to do it.
It felt funny having that chat. Or weird, i should say.
Maybe it's just that im not used to having one-to-one talk with teachers.
She told me lots of thing. And i told her that I am
actually an average student in Malaysia (she laughed, you know HAHA and said
she wanna take her words back [she was joking]) and her reaction was funny. Idk
whether it's a good or bad reaction (that's how bad it is) but i think it
doesnt really matter.
Im worried that i cant cope with 4 subjects next year with
all the exams in June/July :( I really wanna do well in Law and Psychology.
I actually told Ms that i might think about applying to
Oxbridge if i get my results next summer because i'll know what my Alvl grades
are before i apply. But then she;s quite shocked because it's gonna be quite
late to think about applying because if, lets say, i really get A* in my
results and suddenly wanna apply to both the Unis, i will have no time to
prepare.
I told her about my studies in Malaysia, i think she looked
quite worried.. haha idk, maybe she thinks: what if all these are pointless? I
had to admit that im actually quite dumb (which, maybe, i shouldnt have :P) in
Malaysia. ahahha. cz it's hard to see yourself when you're with a bunch of
clever friends, you see :P haha.
Maybe i should start to really think about it. But i always
feel that all these are beyond my capabilities. Idk... actually, the chat didnt
really ease my thoughts. There's still a lot of things going through in my
mind, and i didnt really open up as much as i thought i would be. I think i
need someone 'proper' to talk to. But who?
But one thing that strikes me is, i didnt realise that i
even have the chance to apply to Oxbridge. It's like, if no one ever told me
about my capabilities, i probably will just go with the flow, for example
applying to local universities. Things would've been very different by then. I
didnt even dare to think to apply to any top universities before this. I think,
sometimes, i just need someone to shed some light on me, reassuring me that
everything's gonna be alright, telling me that i can actually achieve further
than i thought.
I told her that i feel really grateful that i have teachers
like them to have noticed me, and she said "put it this way, it's hard not
to notice you" and started telling me about my target grades in the
beginning of the year. hahaha. My target grade was D-E for every subject xD i
was shocked as well, not that i thought im gonna do well. I thought at least i
was capable of gaining C grades in all my exams. And she told me that Mr Iqbal
and her noticed my work (first assessment) in September (right at the beginning
of AS year) and "no no no no no". I still remember what Mr Iqbal told
me when he marked my first assessment actually. But what surprises me is that
Ms still remembered what happened in the beginning of the year. I feel touched,
really. And she told me that lacking confidence is one of the main problems in
me, but it somehow is also a good thing, because that shows that im not
arrogant about my results and stuff. this was the exact same thing that my
friends told me. but idk how ppl can be arrogant tho. like, how? haha.maybe, i
should start self-reflecting and see what's really in me. but im scared that i
might start losing myself too. i dont wanna give ppl the impression that im being conceited and thinking too highly of myself just because i did well in my exams. But then again, i should stop thinking about what others think.
I can see that Ms was trying to tell me that she wants me to think about it because she thinks i can do it, but didnt wanna be too sure of it. I sometimes wonder, are they doing this is somehow because of the school? It's mixed feeling man. But she did tell me that (shhh) make sure i am the one who choose whether i wanna apply or not. Dont do it just because someone says i can do it. I'll have serious thought about it :)
And then after the chat i was suddenly quite motivated. haha. it was a good day in school actually. we went there dressed in casual clothes. SO COMFY! i wore my SAB prefect shirt :') it's really really comfy. haha. felt so relaxed. And we were just doing our application for universities (im doing this just to practice). and then we were allowed to go home at 1.30!!! SO NICE OF MY TEACHER TO LET US GO HOME. hehe. i went to the town with my friends, and i just thought of going into this Citizen Advice Bureau to ask for volunteering opportunities (i had to apply online or phone the manager sigh), and it struck me to visit the solicitor firms just a stone's throw away from the CAB. so i went to both firms; one needs me to write an email with my CV attached, and one needs me to phone the solicitor (SO SCARED!)
the new town was pretty nice, but not many shops are open yet.
I was planning to write my CV or do my school work, but ended up writing my blog. this is such a long post ahaha. please bear with me <3 and after this imma take a shower, watch my drama series, and then start doing my work! this is gonna be a busy weekend and thank God i've finished my psychology homework which is due next Monday! :DDD i have so much work for Summer :( i want to marshall a judge as well, dunno whether that'll work but i'll see :) LOADS OF WORK. i need to finish my 5000-word extended essay for summer as well. Sigh, busy busy busy!
i really hope all these hard work will pay off.
bye!
Wednesday, 10 July 2013
I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DRIVE.
it's like im stuck here, not being able to go anywhere further than West Brom aka my school.
I wanna volunteer at so many places. Like marshalling/shadowing a judge in Birmingham Crown Court, but I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE THE CROWN COURT IS (i forgot actually) AND I DONT KNOW WHERE THE NEAREST BUS STOP IS. things would have been so much simpler if my mom is not working and she can drop me to and fro the places i need to go to. Like how she used to be in Malaysia.
I really need some work experience/job for summer holidays but at the same time i have to fuss about transportation problem. i cant even think about wasting my 7-week holiday doing nothing. remember i told u about the internship? the people who do the internship LEFT. so yeah, i dont think i'll have an internship this summer. i hate having high hopes. but maybe, there's a reason behind all these? (a better way to comfort myself okay)
CANT MY TEACHER IN SCHOOL JUST OFFER ME A JOB UGH. I'LL WASH THE DISHES WHATEVER.
I wanna volunteer at so many places. Like marshalling/shadowing a judge in Birmingham Crown Court, but I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE THE CROWN COURT IS (i forgot actually) AND I DONT KNOW WHERE THE NEAREST BUS STOP IS. things would have been so much simpler if my mom is not working and she can drop me to and fro the places i need to go to. Like how she used to be in Malaysia.
I really need some work experience/job for summer holidays but at the same time i have to fuss about transportation problem. i cant even think about wasting my 7-week holiday doing nothing. remember i told u about the internship? the people who do the internship LEFT. so yeah, i dont think i'll have an internship this summer. i hate having high hopes. but maybe, there's a reason behind all these? (a better way to comfort myself okay)
CANT MY TEACHER IN SCHOOL JUST OFFER ME A JOB UGH. I'LL WASH THE DISHES WHATEVER.
i thought of a title in school!
but i forgot what it is now T____T currently suffering from memory lost. ahhaha.
oh well.
So. I skipped my Eng Lit class today. :P im pretty sure that i wont be doing it after summer so i dont see the point of going to the lesson when i dont enjoy it at all :/ plus no one (apart from a few) knows that I have Eng Lit lesson anyway. So yeah. Although it's really boring doing nothing in the morning (it rhymes!! xD), it's still better going to a lesson i wont enjoy :) some of my friends were like WHOA Ashleigh u skipping lesson! IM NOT AS GOOD AS U THINK I AM YOU KNOW, PEOPLE. they need to see the other side of me. The mischievous side. Im actually a mischievous person, just not till the extent that i'll do something really bad, like really breaking the school law. cz im a neurotic person ahaha. well, just my nature :P
And then after lunch, we had this rounders (something like baseball) and my friends and I went to the park instead cz we didnt wanna play. We played on the swings, see saw, here and there, and got a football from the football teacher. At first when i walked to the field, the football team accidentally kicked their football to my direction, and the teacher went "c'mon. let's see how far u can go" ahaha. and when i kicked the ball, AHAHAHA my shoe fell off (i was wearing flats) and although the ball DID succesfully go back to them, my kick wasnt really good. It was so funny tho! i'd love to play football actually. Well, i did play with a few of my friends on our own, which was pretty fun. My friends are so cute, especially Marian. She laughs at almost everything, and when she laughs, everyone laughs! AND SHE'S SO FUNNY.
Oh yeah, yesterday i had my law lesson with Mrs Westwood again! It was actually really good. To be honest, i thought it'll be tiring and sleepy since it's so hot in the afternoon but surprisingly, i enjoyed the lesson and i wanted to laugh for the whole lesson. We started to learn one topic already. And wait wait there's this definition of "intention"...
I REMEMBERED! hahaha. we had 15 minutes to memorise it and write it on a piece of paper.
The lesson was quite fun actually. And i realised that im more relaxed in Mrs Westwood's lesson. I talked more (of course when the teacher is not teaching) and asked more question. Maybe it's the atmosphere. People are less (they still are) afraid of Mrs Westwood compared to Mr Iqbal. ahaha.
OH BTW WE HAVE SO MUCH HOMEWORK LIKE WHYYYY. isnt summer already :( I WANNA KILL MYSELF WHAT IF I CANT FINISH ALL OF THEM? nah joking, i will. it just takes time. LOTS OF time.
okay then, imma go have dinner now, bye!!
oh well.
So. I skipped my Eng Lit class today. :P im pretty sure that i wont be doing it after summer so i dont see the point of going to the lesson when i dont enjoy it at all :/ plus no one (apart from a few) knows that I have Eng Lit lesson anyway. So yeah. Although it's really boring doing nothing in the morning (it rhymes!! xD), it's still better going to a lesson i wont enjoy :) some of my friends were like WHOA Ashleigh u skipping lesson! IM NOT AS GOOD AS U THINK I AM YOU KNOW, PEOPLE. they need to see the other side of me. The mischievous side. Im actually a mischievous person, just not till the extent that i'll do something really bad, like really breaking the school law. cz im a neurotic person ahaha. well, just my nature :P
And then after lunch, we had this rounders (something like baseball) and my friends and I went to the park instead cz we didnt wanna play. We played on the swings, see saw, here and there, and got a football from the football teacher. At first when i walked to the field, the football team accidentally kicked their football to my direction, and the teacher went "c'mon. let's see how far u can go" ahaha. and when i kicked the ball, AHAHAHA my shoe fell off (i was wearing flats) and although the ball DID succesfully go back to them, my kick wasnt really good. It was so funny tho! i'd love to play football actually. Well, i did play with a few of my friends on our own, which was pretty fun. My friends are so cute, especially Marian. She laughs at almost everything, and when she laughs, everyone laughs! AND SHE'S SO FUNNY.
Oh yeah, yesterday i had my law lesson with Mrs Westwood again! It was actually really good. To be honest, i thought it'll be tiring and sleepy since it's so hot in the afternoon but surprisingly, i enjoyed the lesson and i wanted to laugh for the whole lesson. We started to learn one topic already. And wait wait there's this definition of "intention"...
"the decision to bring about, in so far as it lies within the accused's power, [the prohibited consequence], no matter whether the accused desired that consequence of his act or not."
I REMEMBERED! hahaha. we had 15 minutes to memorise it and write it on a piece of paper.
The lesson was quite fun actually. And i realised that im more relaxed in Mrs Westwood's lesson. I talked more (of course when the teacher is not teaching) and asked more question. Maybe it's the atmosphere. People are less (they still are) afraid of Mrs Westwood compared to Mr Iqbal. ahaha.
OH BTW WE HAVE SO MUCH HOMEWORK LIKE WHYYYY. isnt summer already :( I WANNA KILL MYSELF WHAT IF I CANT FINISH ALL OF THEM? nah joking, i will. it just takes time. LOTS OF time.
okay then, imma go have dinner now, bye!!
Monday, 8 July 2013
disappointment.
today was ... pretty disastrous.
i just hope that i wont start hating school.
i dont normally feel like this, you know. this is really depressing. it's like, all of the sudden, your future goes blank, and you dont know where to stand or how you're gonna survive. it feels like you dont belong to this place anymore, no matter how attached you feel a split second ago.
what if everything goes wrong, and there's no turning point?
sometimes, u just feel like you're losing hope in yourself.
i just hope that i wont start hating school.
i dont normally feel like this, you know. this is really depressing. it's like, all of the sudden, your future goes blank, and you dont know where to stand or how you're gonna survive. it feels like you dont belong to this place anymore, no matter how attached you feel a split second ago.
what if everything goes wrong, and there's no turning point?
sometimes, u just feel like you're losing hope in yourself.
Saturday, 6 July 2013
好心有好报。
Come to think of it, God has been treating me really well.
I had my period like 3 days ago. If i had it yesterday, it would be horrible because i wont want my first day of period during any events.
I actually have one more thing to write but unfortunately i forgot what it was. LOL. i'll update if i remember.
I had my period like 3 days ago. If i had it yesterday, it would be horrible because i wont want my first day of period during any events.
I actually have one more thing to write but unfortunately i forgot what it was. LOL. i'll update if i remember.
Prom '13!
It was a great night actually.
Im so glad that i went this year because i actually didnt plan to go at first until some of my friends said they are going and asked me to as well.
The venue was good, the food was amazing! I had my very first crème brûlée :'D IT WAS SO AMAZING THAT I LITERALLY MADE MY DAY. So i had tomato soup as starter, roast chicken as main course and crème brûlée as dessert. The food was quite good.
Oh so i went to school in the morning bcs i thought there's no point skipping school for prom, and i dont really need that long to prepare. My friend nearly got into trouble because she skipped school. It was a coincidence because she was talking on the phone with her friend and my teacher aka the head of P16 was there and so he told her to come to school within 30 mins or else she cant go to prom. Well he got suspicious because there were only 5 ppl in his business class lol.
So i went home after school, reaching home at about 4.15. I quickly took my shower and had a quick dinner (just ate something in case i dont like the food there PLUS my mom cooked soup! yummy) and blow-dried my hair. Got into my dress, and it's already around 4.45. i was quite nervous actually, what if we didnt manage to get ready? and there's traffic as well oh gosh. then i did my hair and it took me more than 30 mins oh god -.- and then make up was the worst part. it was nearly 6pm when i did my make up. and I SMUDGED MASCARA ONTO MY EYELIDS FOR GOD'S SAKE. i was really panicking because we (as in me and my sis) planned to leave at 6.15, and it's already 6.18pm -.- and then when we called the taxi, he didnt ask for our house number o.o only to find out that they've already known our house number -.- but oh well we left at 6.40 HAHAHAHA. and yup there was traffic. luckily the taxi driver took the other route and we reached there at 7.10pm. ten minutes late, but only about 10 ppl were there. and i didnt know 3 of my friends were there already -.- i stood outside of the hotel with my sis because the teachers were in the lobby lol welcoming us. And when they came out we quickly sneaked inside. hahaha. SO AWKWARD.
but then come to think of it. im quite proud of myself really, to be able to get ready in 2+ hours. haha.
So we went upstairs, took some pictures with my friends and more people started to come. I saw my teachers aww. they were pretty but some of them were so cool -.- like there's this teacher, i said HELLO SIR! to him, he just raised his glass to me. ._______. ?? hahahaha. it was funny tho.
Then all my friends came and we took pictures etc etc, i even took some with my fav teachers! :D like my psychology teacher aka the prom organiser Ms Sandhu,
At about 7.45pm we had out meals, as and i said above the food were great! THE DESSERT WAS AMAZING OH GOSH.
Then the head of year 13 gave a speech and tada! dance time. oh yeah and my law teacher Mrs Westwood reached at 9+pm because she went to the Supreme Court for some conference. I only danced for the first 15-20 mins tho. Cz im such an awkward person hahaha. Everyone looked so high tho. And the dance floor was too small for everyone. I went there and soon got squeezed out again. and the people were getting sweaty and sticky xD haha. so i'd rather go sit down in the middle of the room and watch them dance. haha. only the front two tables were occupied. the rest were all empty xD
and then after a while emma came and joined me at my table (only i was there hohoho) we were such awkward people :( we tried to dance, but couldnt get into the mood. something in common. haha. but she left me after a while again to join my friends in the dance floor. then Mrs Westwood came and sat by me saying that i need to see her someday next week to talk about the things im gonna do in this 2 years and after high school etc. and i was like, Ms, is this some serious talk? haha. and i forgot what she said after that but she was only joking. i actually started to know when she's joking and when she's not. She's gonna be one of my two law teachers next year. it's gonna be fun!
for the whole 1-2 hours of the dancing part, i sat there and watched my friends danced. it's fun to watch actually. and i kinda observed quite a lot of things :P not to sound like a pervert but yeah. seriously. oh yeah, ms kumari came to me and asked me to find people to dance, and when we were walking down the stairs I NEARLY FELL. I HATE WEARING HEELS. luckily i was gripping on tight the handle, or else i'll roll off the stairs. and im really serious. scared the hell outta me. imagine i really rolled off the stairs. thank God no one saw except for ms Kumari (i hope).
After the prom ended, everyone was knackered. They took some final pictures and then we went downstairs to wait for people (my mom, in my case) to pick us up. then my friend asked my law teacher why he didnt dance. he made fun of me by saying "because my dancing skill is as good as Ashleigh's" -____- hahahaha. that's funny tho. then he asked me why i didnt dance, i said i cant dance, im not a party person and he said he's not as well. and there's some fun in watching people dance too and i was like YEAHH HAHA. he's so funny :'D
Then my mom came with her worker and Mrs Westwood was like, dont get into the car unless you're sure that's your mom. awwww. haha. Mrs Curtis even came and talked to my mom :'D i swear i have lots of funny and cute teachers in my school.
Im so gonna miss school in the coming summer holidays. OMG EXAM RESULTS. im really scared.
btw it took me about 1 hour to un-get ready myself last night -.- gosh.
Im so glad that i went this year because i actually didnt plan to go at first until some of my friends said they are going and asked me to as well.
The venue was good, the food was amazing! I had my very first crème brûlée :'D IT WAS SO AMAZING THAT I LITERALLY MADE MY DAY. So i had tomato soup as starter, roast chicken as main course and crème brûlée as dessert. The food was quite good.
Oh so i went to school in the morning bcs i thought there's no point skipping school for prom, and i dont really need that long to prepare. My friend nearly got into trouble because she skipped school. It was a coincidence because she was talking on the phone with her friend and my teacher aka the head of P16 was there and so he told her to come to school within 30 mins or else she cant go to prom. Well he got suspicious because there were only 5 ppl in his business class lol.
So i went home after school, reaching home at about 4.15. I quickly took my shower and had a quick dinner (just ate something in case i dont like the food there PLUS my mom cooked soup! yummy) and blow-dried my hair. Got into my dress, and it's already around 4.45. i was quite nervous actually, what if we didnt manage to get ready? and there's traffic as well oh gosh. then i did my hair and it took me more than 30 mins oh god -.- and then make up was the worst part. it was nearly 6pm when i did my make up. and I SMUDGED MASCARA ONTO MY EYELIDS FOR GOD'S SAKE. i was really panicking because we (as in me and my sis) planned to leave at 6.15, and it's already 6.18pm -.- and then when we called the taxi, he didnt ask for our house number o.o only to find out that they've already known our house number -.- but oh well we left at 6.40 HAHAHAHA. and yup there was traffic. luckily the taxi driver took the other route and we reached there at 7.10pm. ten minutes late, but only about 10 ppl were there. and i didnt know 3 of my friends were there already -.- i stood outside of the hotel with my sis because the teachers were in the lobby lol welcoming us. And when they came out we quickly sneaked inside. hahaha. SO AWKWARD.
but then come to think of it. im quite proud of myself really, to be able to get ready in 2+ hours. haha.
So we went upstairs, took some pictures with my friends and more people started to come. I saw my teachers aww. they were pretty but some of them were so cool -.- like there's this teacher, i said HELLO SIR! to him, he just raised his glass to me. ._______. ?? hahahaha. it was funny tho.
Then all my friends came and we took pictures etc etc, i even took some with my fav teachers! :D like my psychology teacher aka the prom organiser Ms Sandhu,
At about 7.45pm we had out meals, as and i said above the food were great! THE DESSERT WAS AMAZING OH GOSH.
Then the head of year 13 gave a speech and tada! dance time. oh yeah and my law teacher Mrs Westwood reached at 9+pm because she went to the Supreme Court for some conference. I only danced for the first 15-20 mins tho. Cz im such an awkward person hahaha. Everyone looked so high tho. And the dance floor was too small for everyone. I went there and soon got squeezed out again. and the people were getting sweaty and sticky xD haha. so i'd rather go sit down in the middle of the room and watch them dance. haha. only the front two tables were occupied. the rest were all empty xD
and then after a while emma came and joined me at my table (only i was there hohoho) we were such awkward people :( we tried to dance, but couldnt get into the mood. something in common. haha. but she left me after a while again to join my friends in the dance floor. then Mrs Westwood came and sat by me saying that i need to see her someday next week to talk about the things im gonna do in this 2 years and after high school etc. and i was like, Ms, is this some serious talk? haha. and i forgot what she said after that but she was only joking. i actually started to know when she's joking and when she's not. She's gonna be one of my two law teachers next year. it's gonna be fun!
for the whole 1-2 hours of the dancing part, i sat there and watched my friends danced. it's fun to watch actually. and i kinda observed quite a lot of things :P not to sound like a pervert but yeah. seriously. oh yeah, ms kumari came to me and asked me to find people to dance, and when we were walking down the stairs I NEARLY FELL. I HATE WEARING HEELS. luckily i was gripping on tight the handle, or else i'll roll off the stairs. and im really serious. scared the hell outta me. imagine i really rolled off the stairs. thank God no one saw except for ms Kumari (i hope).
After the prom ended, everyone was knackered. They took some final pictures and then we went downstairs to wait for people (my mom, in my case) to pick us up. then my friend asked my law teacher why he didnt dance. he made fun of me by saying "because my dancing skill is as good as Ashleigh's" -____- hahahaha. that's funny tho. then he asked me why i didnt dance, i said i cant dance, im not a party person and he said he's not as well. and there's some fun in watching people dance too and i was like YEAHH HAHA. he's so funny :'D
Then my mom came with her worker and Mrs Westwood was like, dont get into the car unless you're sure that's your mom. awwww. haha. Mrs Curtis even came and talked to my mom :'D i swear i have lots of funny and cute teachers in my school.
Im so gonna miss school in the coming summer holidays. OMG EXAM RESULTS. im really scared.
btw it took me about 1 hour to un-get ready myself last night -.- gosh.
Now it's picture time!
The venue.
Me and Emma :) the only white girl whom im quite close with.
but she left our school :(
Me and Aishah :) HER HEELS. omg.
THE MEAL. SEE HOW NICE THE CREME BRULEE IS.
OOTD :)
excuse the quality of the pic -.-
:)
Wednesday, 3 July 2013
Bad day.
Im having my period :O And two days after is prom. Sigh. Maybe it's better. Idk.
I wasted my time in school after lunch when i can actually sneak home without the teachers knowing. Watch me sneak home tmr after lunch. Trust me, that's when the teacher starts to do the registration.
My teacher was being mean to me -.-
I have so many pimples on my head :(
Idk.
I wasted my time in school after lunch when i can actually sneak home without the teachers knowing. Watch me sneak home tmr after lunch. Trust me, that's when the teacher starts to do the registration.
My teacher was being mean to me -.-
I have so many pimples on my head :(
Idk.
Tuesday, 2 July 2013
The debate!
So yeah. Mrs Westwood suddenly told us that we're gonna have our debate (which was supposed to be on two weeks ago) today. We panicked a lil, but thank God i have my notes with me (I KNEW THIS IS GONNA HAPPEN SOMEHOW ;) ) see how i know my teachers. HAHAHA. jokes.
Yeah, it was alright, and i like Ms said, it worked better with lesser people. Some of them went to Bull Ring for their Business thingy. So there were only 9 of us. And im surprised that this boy from other school actually did what i told him to do and it went alright. and he helped me with the floor debate FUHH. Cz he wasnt here when we prepared. so yeah.
But we basically half-read half-presented our points. I liked the floor debate. because nothing went wrong. haha. i thought i'd be like, speechless or something. but overall, we knew what we were talking about.
and Ms praised me :') for being well-prepared and very organised. and looked for good points and cases to support our points :')
like i said before in my previous posts, i am now more confident than i used to be and i think im less afraid of speaking in the public/in front of people. Maybe it was a small group with Mrs Westwood there, but oh well. we start off slowly, dont we? i think i'd be more nervous if one more teacher is there. Especially my other law teacher, oh gosh. not to mention that we had a 1000-word essay to do for him hahaha.
but then after school today i saw him and then i went "SIR WE HAD OUR DEBATE TODAY!" he asked who's the winner and i said "no we didnt.." he's like, "YOU DIDNT WIN?!" :'D he's so funny sometimes. haha. but we didnt have winner/loser. cz Mrs Westwood just wanna see how we worked and debated. so that she can write the UCAS reference during the summer.
it was a good day actually :)
i hope the Friday lesson is gonna be fun as well, although i already knew what's going on cz i went to the other lesson yesterday. but it should be fun. and it's prom after that!
friday better be good!
Yeah, it was alright, and i like Ms said, it worked better with lesser people. Some of them went to Bull Ring for their Business thingy. So there were only 9 of us. And im surprised that this boy from other school actually did what i told him to do and it went alright. and he helped me with the floor debate FUHH. Cz he wasnt here when we prepared. so yeah.
But we basically half-read half-presented our points. I liked the floor debate. because nothing went wrong. haha. i thought i'd be like, speechless or something. but overall, we knew what we were talking about.
and Ms praised me :') for being well-prepared and very organised. and looked for good points and cases to support our points :')
like i said before in my previous posts, i am now more confident than i used to be and i think im less afraid of speaking in the public/in front of people. Maybe it was a small group with Mrs Westwood there, but oh well. we start off slowly, dont we? i think i'd be more nervous if one more teacher is there. Especially my other law teacher, oh gosh. not to mention that we had a 1000-word essay to do for him hahaha.
but then after school today i saw him and then i went "SIR WE HAD OUR DEBATE TODAY!" he asked who's the winner and i said "no we didnt.." he's like, "YOU DIDNT WIN?!" :'D he's so funny sometimes. haha. but we didnt have winner/loser. cz Mrs Westwood just wanna see how we worked and debated. so that she can write the UCAS reference during the summer.
it was a good day actually :)
i hope the Friday lesson is gonna be fun as well, although i already knew what's going on cz i went to the other lesson yesterday. but it should be fun. and it's prom after that!
friday better be good!
Monday, 1 July 2013
The other half of 2013,
has begun!
To start off, it was a good morning actually. I got put into Ms Sandhu aka my psychology teacher's form. So next year, hopefully if nothing changes, IM GONNA BE IN HER FORM FOR THE WHOLE YEAR! :DD and many of my friends are in the same form as me. Those funny and happy ones, at least ;) So we went to a computer room and continued with our UCAS application.
But my timetable ruined my happy day. My timetable was so ugly! I have frees in the morning and some in the afternoon :( which i hate the most. i wanted free period in the middle sigh. but one good thing is that i still have the same frees as Marcia and i can actually do my own work that time. And i had A2 Photography in my timetables omg. Especially on Monday and Thursday. I only have Photography and that's it. Free the whole day. I was so worried that i need to go to the lessons and do nothing. So when Ms said if there's anything wrong with our timetables then go to speak to Mr Iqbal aka my Law teacher, which i, of course, did. So he said he's gonna put AS History and Geog into my timetable next week cz the new Year 12s are starting school this Friday/next week. And when i asked him whether i still need to go to the Photog class, he said no. YAY. cz im definitely, for sure (see how im emphasising this), not carrying on with it next year. and he said i can go to the other law lessons when i have photography (the privilege! :') ) and make sure no one sees my timetable (idk why) but i told him everyone already knew how ugly my timetable was hahaha. allowing me to go to the law class actually lightened up my day a little. haha.
the sad thing is, my friend Aishah had to go to Photography class alone now :/ cz i went to the law class, and she had to go to the lesson cz Sir didnt let her come with me. I asked him again, but the answer was the same.
So i went to the law class today. I still feel like an intruder sigh, but oh well. my very first lesson is law :'D how nice. i think the whole world knows im a law-lover hahaha. it was quite interesting. Each of us had to teach each other and i think our group taught them something wrong :P haha. i apologise.
and we had a 1000-thousand worded essay to do as hw. it's pretty complicated. i'll figure out how.
To start off, it was a good morning actually. I got put into Ms Sandhu aka my psychology teacher's form. So next year, hopefully if nothing changes, IM GONNA BE IN HER FORM FOR THE WHOLE YEAR! :DD and many of my friends are in the same form as me. Those funny and happy ones, at least ;) So we went to a computer room and continued with our UCAS application.
But my timetable ruined my happy day. My timetable was so ugly! I have frees in the morning and some in the afternoon :( which i hate the most. i wanted free period in the middle sigh. but one good thing is that i still have the same frees as Marcia and i can actually do my own work that time. And i had A2 Photography in my timetables omg. Especially on Monday and Thursday. I only have Photography and that's it. Free the whole day. I was so worried that i need to go to the lessons and do nothing. So when Ms said if there's anything wrong with our timetables then go to speak to Mr Iqbal aka my Law teacher, which i, of course, did. So he said he's gonna put AS History and Geog into my timetable next week cz the new Year 12s are starting school this Friday/next week. And when i asked him whether i still need to go to the Photog class, he said no. YAY. cz im definitely, for sure (see how im emphasising this), not carrying on with it next year. and he said i can go to the other law lessons when i have photography (the privilege! :') ) and make sure no one sees my timetable (idk why) but i told him everyone already knew how ugly my timetable was hahaha. allowing me to go to the law class actually lightened up my day a little. haha.
the sad thing is, my friend Aishah had to go to Photography class alone now :/ cz i went to the law class, and she had to go to the lesson cz Sir didnt let her come with me. I asked him again, but the answer was the same.
So i went to the law class today. I still feel like an intruder sigh, but oh well. my very first lesson is law :'D how nice. i think the whole world knows im a law-lover hahaha. it was quite interesting. Each of us had to teach each other and i think our group taught them something wrong :P haha. i apologise.
and we had a 1000-thousand worded essay to do as hw. it's pretty complicated. i'll figure out how.
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