It feels like holiday has started but I still go to school to work. I think I'll be jobless in the end of next week since school officially closes and I wont be "summoned" anymore. I'm fine with that though, the feeling of doing something is good but at the same time, I just wanna really chill and relax in this summer. I wont say I regretted asking school for a job but it's quite big of a commitment, I guess. Dont think I'll ever be ready for work. Even in the future. Well. After exams, I didnt really get to lie in in the mornings like how holidays are supposed to be. And it's sooooo tiring. Mentally exhausted. I cant imagine how my mom survives through these "morning calls", literally. Having to wake up early to drop us off to school.Thank goodness it's ending next weekend. She can finally have a break!
But then again, when I actually stay at home everyday... I think I'll be restless and have no idea what to do. Remember I listed "drama/variety shows marathon" in my to-do list? It's not working out. I got bored after watching Emergency Couple in three days. I was so hyped up about it and love the beginning so much but idk I felt like I couldnt stick to one thing. And then there's Infnite Challenge. I have watched all the post-100 episodes. And for Running Man, it's either starting for episode 1 all over again (which was my initial plan waaaay before exams but couldnt seem to do it because starting means the beginning of an end; what can I do after watching all the episodes then? Plus I dont feel like watching the first episodes yet, for some reason...). So yeah all this emptiness is creeping into my everything. Life, basically.
Oh did I mention that my A-level results are out in ONE MONTH AND THREE DAYS' TIME? I'm scared. Really scared. Warwick Uni is my only choice and... I need to get the two As they want. I dont know where else to go if... Let's not talk about that. I'm really scared because I think I've done quite well but sometimes good feelings post-exams are the worst. I remember feeling confident about this exam and got a B for it. And that's really scary. What if I misunderstood the question? Especially Geo's 40 marker. What if my History coursework isnt A after being moderated? Can someone... please save me..
I have one more thing to write about but I forgot what that was.
I REMEMBER NOW. Driving.
Well, I started learning how to drive in February and I feel like I'm not even ready for my practical test. Not that I have booked one, it's the fact that I am not moving (at all) towards that direction. I, myself, is to blame though. I dont know why I cant seem to pick up the skills, eg preparing to moveeee. I keep stalling. So annoyed at myself! Plus my instructor isnt all that professional, you know. I expected better because he taught my friend and she passed so quickly! I think I had too much hope on myself... yeah I know that... but anyways. He is always busy and cancelling on me, never stick out lesson to a specific time because he has another job. Being a driving instructor is his part-time job, basically. And yeah. I thought since it's holiday I would have double lessons a week but now it's like having one lesson in two weeks. Oh and my theory test is on 28th July. Havent touched the book/learned anything. Wish me luck because I'll definitely need that on the day. just hate revising now. Books, books, books. And people, people, people. Pretty sure I'm developing phobias of them right now. And frankly, all this is beginning to get on my nerves.
OH HOLD ON driving was one of the things I wanted to talk about but the actual thing that I forgot was.. I'm moving! I think. Mom said the lawyer told the seller that legal procedures are gonna take another (yes, another) two-three weeks. Which means that we're slowly drifting away from this shop-house. I would say that I'll miss this place though. Definitely. Despite all the spiders, some-scary-wall-banging-bugs, moths, dust, coldness-during-the-winter, I-cant-revise-because-its-too-loud-downstairs, stupid left-door neighbours, I would miss this place. Afterall, I have been here for four years. Four years. Cant believe I'm actually getting used to (some parts) of this place. The nice environment, short distance to my friend's house, easy accessibility to school/city centre (this point is seriously no joke), a post office two streets away, and an off-license store just next door (our nice neighbour!), all of these tend to override the negative stuff. But I just dont wanna be in this house anymore. My heart aches everytime I see my mom's aching body and I'm not good enough to patiently care for her. I mean, obviously I do help her but sometimes, things get out of hand and I couldnt even manage to solve my own problems, let alone my mom's! Things are ending, and I can only hope that new beginnings would be more satisfying although I dont feel good about it at the moment. Things would change drastically too. And it's like going back to Day One: the "let's get used to this again" situation. But hey, we should be a little bit more optimistic! (It's the time... I'm getting sleepy and thus a bit depressed hahaha).
Just realised that I wanted to tell you this as well. I need to start noting down things I want to say because I always end up forgetting about them! Hmm how do I put this into words. Basically, for prom, I plan to wear this cream lace top with plain red skirt, and so I thought red lipstick with minimal eye makeup would be nice. I bought this (used by accident T_T) red lipstick and I FELL IN LOVE (not really hahaha). I didnt glide it through my lips, just dots and then swipe it with my finger it looks tinted (if you get what I mean) Hahaha. I makes my face looks so much more refreshed without those cakey foundation and panda-eyed eyeliners. Sorry, that's a bit stereotypical but at the moment I just couldnt be bothered with those full-on makeup so I'll just stick to applying lipsticks! AND. The most important part!!! I saw this lip tint online and I FELL IN LOVE. LIKE PROPER. It's Banila.co's it Moist Seoul Tint in #2 Jihyo Pink. Yeah Jihyo :B :B :B The fact that it says Jihyo *ahem* was the reason I came across this lipstick but I really love it not because of that - THE COLOUR IS SO LOVELY. I have been looking for this colour since ages ago AND YES. FINALLY. This made my day (it came today through the post hehe)! It's this coral-ish pink and it's so pretty. This would be the one I'm gonna use frequently (if I dont forget when I leave the house) and yup. I am happy. That's all matters :D
Anyways, it's time to watch the tv with my mom (at 0033; see how sad my mom's life is? Working 12 hours a day and finishing at 12am on Friday and Saturday because of the shop).
It was meant to be a short post because I was feeling a bit blue haha but yeah things never fail turn out differently. I have work tomorrow!
Last but not least, HAPPY 5TH ANNIVERSARY RUNNING MAN.
사람해요! 시간을 함께 걷자!
credits: RMDoodle
(I just realised now that the pic shows a "5" hahaha after looking at it since the afternoon)
Dear RMDoodle, your drawings are forever so detailed and sweet and perfect! Thank you for drawing for so many years too!
Ending the post with RM makes me happy <3 :B
Goodnight, and have a nice day <3
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