Maybe.

Maybe I'm being too harsh to myself.

I've got my results today!

Law - 175/200 - A Overall
Psychology - 178/200 - A Overall
Film Studies - 153/200 - B Overall
Photography - 166/200 - A Overall

But the thing is, I got 59/80 in Unit 2 for Law. it was pretty disappointing to see that. I actually expected an A. 5 marks off the A. Luckily I've done quite well in my previous Unit which eventually adds up to the 175 marks I've got overall. I actually cried, you know. I was holding my feelings back when I saw the mark but then when my Law teacher asked me if I'm alright, .. it was kinda embarrassing. Hahaha. I didnt understand why I cried too. I got an A overall, what else am I expecting? It's like Paper 1 + Paper 2 = the grade. What's important is the grade. Just dont look at the break-down of the marks for each Unit and it'll be fine. I think I will feel better if you just combine both Unit and give me the score. Dont bother giving me the mark for each unit. You get what im saying?

I'm such an idiot.

My law teachers and psychology teacher were telling me that I did really well, and I shouldnt be disappointed with my results. That makes me cry even more. And my mom was there LOLLL. it just didnt feel nice seeing a not-so-good result for my favourite subject. but well, the only thing I can do is to accept! Im sad because I feel like I've let my law teachers down. The more they say I've done really well, the more I feel guilty. And when my law teacher talked to me, our head teacher is there hahaha. I dont really understand what he was saying but I think he's trying to make a joke or something so I laughed.

But then! Another shocking thing is that I've got 86/100 (A) for my History Unit 2. It actually feels funny, you know. After the exam i was like, shoot I'm gonna fail. Honestly. And look at this. Totally the other way round with Law. I wish I'm that talented in Law.

My teacher were telling me to not be disappointed or sad because my result is really good. She might get the script back and see what is wrong with my answer. It might be as simple as not answering the ques. It might be because I was so well-prepared that my answer didnt come out as I wanted. Sigh, I dont even have the "face" to talk to her about going to Oxbridge anymore.

Over the past few days I didnt feel anything about getting my results. So different compared to last time. I was so so nervous that time. I think the more I panic/nervous I am, the better the results I'm gonna get. Sounds logical to me.

But come to think of it, hey at least I've got As! and an A for History when I thought i'd fail! Which means I'll only have to do one Unit next year :) I'm actually looking forward to next school year!

Look at the positive side! What's done is done! Cant do anything anymore anyway (<-woots look at that)

现在只能够学会接受。

对不起，可能令你们失望了。